Many star guys seem to have been created specifically to break your heart. What to do if the “I like” in your head has already outgrown the posters hanging on the wall and turned into hysterics and sleepless nights? We will help you sort out your conflicting feelings towards your idol.
Recently, our entire editorial team decided to rewatch “Titanic” and suddenly remembered how each of us’ hearts sank during our school years when Leonardo DiCaprio appeared on the screen. Today we are already grown girls, we managed to watch a bunch of films with Leo and, unexpectedly for ourselves, we noticed how talented he is at transforming into completely different characters. We noticed how much the first Hollywood directors loved him, and, thinking that we knew nothing at all about Leo, we decided to read a little about his biography.
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From it we learned about how long and persistently he achieved his success; about how the directors, at first, only noticed his half-brother, and not himself; about how he wanted to get at least some role just to help his mother; about how the girls didn't take him seriously and thought he was unattractive; about how much money he selflessly donates to save wildlife at the present time; and even that Leo’s grandmother was Russian. And, suddenly, we saw in him no longer just the romantic Jack Dawson from Titanic, because of whom we once cried at night (in fact, like billions of girls around the world)...
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We saw a man who did his job conscientiously and deservedly achieved success. But if we had understood this earlier, how many successes would we have already achieved ourselves, looking up to him? And so, we decided that we won’t let you waste your time and made up a few simple rules on how to turn your love for your idol to your advantage. If you love this guy so much, then love him right!
Rule #1: Admit it's not him you love.
Be that as it may, actors in real life are often completely different from their characters - after all, before “Camera. Motor" conditional Sherlock spent more than one sleepless night memorizing his script. And Justin Bieber spent a lot of hours filming a video in which he is “so cool.” Remember: he is a living person and he is a person you do not know. But you know his hero very well, who has clear blue eyes, a gentle character, a gentle voice and who certainly knows how to treat girls. Or maybe he is a reluctant villain, with a heightened sense of justice, like the character in the TV series “Dexter,” for example?
There is nothing strange in the fact that you fell in love with a character; the main thing is to remember that this is not a real person, but a set of human qualities and external data necessary to create a full-fledged image.
By the way, we do not urge you to take these feelings lightly; on the contrary, they can become the basis for your future relationships, because perhaps it is precisely these personal qualities and external data that you really value in young people. However, do not forget that the guy you see on the screen may simply not exist in reality. The movie is, after all, a fiction, albeit close to reality, and you definitely won’t meet a guy without flaws like Edward Cullen in your life... Although, wait, Edward was a vampire!
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Rule #2: Don't be an annoying fan.
Any person, whether he is famous throughout the world or not, needs personal space. It is for this simple reason that celebrities do not like to be attacked openly and aggressively. Imagine a situation: you go out into the street, and a complete stranger tries to “take over” your personal space (and it’s not a fact that you will like him). How will you feel? Most likely, you will feel unpleasant. Of course, such a famous guy like him is already accustomed to constant attention, but, believe me, importunity can piss off anyone, even a celebrity, and even the most non-conflicting one.
Unfortunately, annoying fans are distinguished by their super ability to violate someone else's personal space at any cost, so the only reaction of a celebrity towards them will be irritation.
Think about it: do you want to join a large society of annoying fans or do you want to remain special? Of course, the opportunity to be heard by your idol and become famous throughout YouTube due to stupid antics is a tempting prospect, but is this really the kind of fame that you need? Look how terrible the fans who started the show looked from the outside without giving them an autograph. So what did they get? Her attention? We are sure that a school gossip who says nasty things about you will easily receive exactly the same attention. Here's what Lovato wrote in her defense: “I'm trying my best to interact with as many fans as I can before general hysteria sets in. No matter how long I've been doing this, sometimes the crazy screaming and crowding gets really dangerous, and in order to avoid getting hurt and somehow calm the raging crowd, I just walk into the room, hoping that my fans will understand. Today two people shouted very rude things at me because I didn't stop and talk to each of them personally. It's terrible when this happens. I’m already used to hate from people, but remember that I’m also a living person. So please take your negativity elsewhere."
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Rule #3: Get to know him better
The point is not that now you should suddenly jump up and shake all the search engines, hoping to find the number of his agent in order to bombard your idol with love confessions by e-mail. You're not an annoying fan, remember? Just read his biography, but only from sources you can trust. Of course, you can’t check such information for plagiarism, just be more careful and, at the same time, subscribe to him on Instagram if you haven’t already. This way you will be able to see a real person, and not a set of qualities, and learn interesting details from his life: how he spends his free time; does he have a family? whether he helps the poor; what he loves and what he hates; what you dreamed about during your school years... In fact, this list can be continued endlessly, but the more you learn about your idol, the easier it will be for you to get used to the fact that he is an ordinary person... Well, okay, maybe not quite ordinary, just successful. And, by the way, not all star boys in real life are as sweet as on the screen, or, conversely, those who are rude on the screen can turn out to be very sweet in life. For example, the press regularly hears rumors about Justin Bieber’s boorish behavior, but Tom Felton, unlike his character Draco Malfoy (the Harry Potter films), is a cutie in real life.
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Rule #4: Determine why you love him
If he is an actor, study his filmography in Kinopoisk, select 5 films from there that are different from each other, and watch it on a free weekend. This way you can understand what exactly attracts you to an idol: the personal qualities of one of his heroes or external data. Often we fall in love with an actor from the first film - the first and, as a rule, the only one, and this prevents us from objectively assessing our feelings. If he is a singer or musician, then, in addition to famous hits, listen to his independent works, and be sure that if you are not impressed, then it is a matter of appearance. This, for example, happened with Zayn Malik, when after his departure from One Direction it turned out that many female fans did not appreciate his solo work. It turned out that Zayn was not at all what the boy band managers wanted to show him. In general, having decided on the root of your love, it will be easier for you to transfer it into a productive direction.
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Rule #5: Look up to him
This is precisely the productive direction. Now that you already know some details from the real life of your idol, have watched all the films with his participation or listened to all his songs, you can draw your own conclusions. Is he a generous benefactor and donates a third of his fees to those in need? Take his example and help people, only to the best of your ability, of course. He doesn’t have the same roles, but at the same time he plays each one so brilliantly that you are always ready to empathize with him, or does his strong voice not tremble even with active body movements on stage? It looks like the guy has talent and there's nothing stopping you from opening your own. Did he not give up after 20 failed castings or after his CD was trampled by a famous music producer? One can envy his endurance, and one can also be inspired by it. He started out as a courier and recently won an Oscar for Best Actor? A good reason to remember that everything great always starts small. Here, Brad Pitt, before world recognition, walked the streets of the city in a chicken suit and invited visitors to the El Pollo Loco restaurant, Jim Carrey worked as a doorman, and Channing Tatum even danced a striptease!
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Rule #6: Don't forget about your own life
Admit it, with the appearance of an idol in your life, you completely forgot about yourself. Even if we talk theoretically: think about it, can such a successful guy like him like a girl without life guidelines and hobbies? And it’s not so much about him, but about you yourself. Are you really tempted by the prospect of following another person all your life, actually living his life instead of yours? At the same time, you should not exclude the possibility that interest in your idol will disappear or you will switch to someone else. In general, whether you love him or not, let’s be honest, this doesn’t make him “hot or cold,” so think about your success, because you have every chance of achieving it.
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Rule #7: Stop dreaming and set realistic goals
We bet you dream of meeting him in real life. But for this, it’s not enough to just sit and dream, you need to clearly imagine how and under what circumstances you could meet. The easiest way is to imagine that you are a correspondent and interviewing him. Now think about what you need for this. Well, firstly, you need to get a journalistic education, secondly, master the skills of a professional interviewer, thirdly, gain journalistic experience, and then, if your idol is a foreigner, then you need knowledge of the language. In general, knowing all these nuances, you can get significantly closer to your dream. Or maybe along the way you will understand that all this is not yours at all and is not worth it at all - and this is also completely normal.
What do they say about this?
Love for an idol is not uncommon. They talk about it. And they say a lot... There is a lot of advice on the Internet. For example: “Don’t waste your precious time daydreaming and thinking bubbles of ideals. You shouldn’t ruin the life of yourself or those around you because of some singer or film actor. The main thing is to understand that you will never be next to him.” “It is dangerous to love mirages, to be seduced by shadows, to strive for ideal images. Get back to real life." They also say that you shouldn’t give up your love. You have to believe. Or wait for it to pass. There you can also find real confessions from ladies in love just like you. They love their idol like a dream, and believe that their dream will someday come true (although somewhere deep down they realize that this will never happen) - this makes life much easier for them... But we will give you other, real advice!
KNOCK!
Regardless of whether you have written to him more than once or have not yet decided to take this step, you should definitely write to his fan club. By the way, such an address can be found on your idol’s website. As for email, it won't be of much use. Any advanced fan club receives thousands of such letters every minute. The only thing that makes you stand out among virtual admirers is the subject line of the letter. It should be original, and not “I want to meet him and get married.” So rack your brains and think! If you are going to send your message by mail, know that the envelope must be unusual. Make every effort to get your message noticed. Color it with all the colors of the rainbow, draw an original drawing, choose beautiful stamps. Show what your imagination, inspired by love, is capable of.
Now let's move on to the content of the message. The most important thing is to try to avoid grammatical errors. Write him poetry, tell him about yourself, your city and, of course, that you really like him. Now let’s imagine that he read your letter. What's next? Thanks to the discreet message, your idol or his secretary will conclude that...
...when you meet, you will not tear his clothes, run after him with a crazy expression on his face and with scissors in his hands, in order to get at least some trophy in the form of a torn sleeve or a tuft of hair.
That is, it will become clear that you are a balanced and completely normal girl. And then you may be invited to a meeting with him. Even if this doesn’t happen, you will definitely become an active member of the fan club - and that’s cool. But as for overseas stars, it’s unlikely that something like this can happen on the territory of your homeland. Although anything can happen. And waiting for a miracle...
Waiting for a miracle...
1. Learn your idol's language. It's cool to watch his original films, understand what he sings about, read his blogs on Twitter or communicate with him personally on Facebook (and this can happen!). In any case, excellent knowledge of a foreign language will definitely be useful to you in life.
2. Save some money for travel. Even if you don’t meet the person you dream of, you will see the world.
3. You should look good paired with your idol. Look after yourself and fashion. And of course, for the figure! It should be twelve points. Take your feet in your hands and go to the gym, aerobics, fitness or dancing. So let, in addition to love, you still have other hobbies that will only benefit you.
4. To have something in common with the one you love, take acting classes or take vocal lessons. Maybe thanks to your success you will meet him. In any case, there will be one more reason for the meeting.
Step forward
Now it's time to talk about reality...
First, let's figure out who you love. Singer, actor? Chances are you love his look. So much so that at the very sight of him you are overcome by a real tsunami of feelings. You want to hug the monitor/TV and constantly stare into the eyes of your chosen one...
Loving an idol is very, very cool. Firstly, you cannot quarrel with him. Secondly, he never says anything he doesn’t want to hear. Therefore, you attribute to him the qualities of an ideal, come up with some mind-blowing character traits.
But behind the scenes, in life, he can be moody or irritable and also make mistakes. Understand, he is a man! This means that nothing human is alien to him. Admit it, there are moments when you understand the stupidity of the situation, living as if in another dimension. Now open the door and take a step into the ordinary world. Let's go explore. Not everything there is as bad as it seems.
Oh, lucky one!
It is unlikely that any guy can capture your imagination if you are fanatically in love with your idol. It is very difficult. But at least try to find someone who is at least a little like your dream. Voice, appearance or even gait. What a difference it makes! After all, he might like you, which means he can turn you into a real lucky guy. After all, communicating with different people is great! We repeat - with different people, and not just an unrequited “dialogue” with your idol. Believe me, he won't be offended. He will only be in favor if you become truly happy!
Understand, love should help you live. Love is happiness, not tears and pain in the heart. Share it with others. They are really looking forward to it!