How to forget your ex-wife. I can’t forget my ex-wife and get over the divorce…. How to forget your ex-wife if you have a child and start a new life

Standard story: just yesterday there was a girl you loved next to you, who seemed to you an ideal candidate for the role of life partner and mother of future children. However, now you are alone - SHE is gone.

Maybe there is no love anymore, another guy has taken over her flighty heart, maybe you yourself are to blame for the breakup. But so far there is no strength to clarify the root cause, since mental suffering is becoming more and more intense.

All your thoughts now are only about how to forget the girl you love, and this is right, because only by getting rid of the fragments of past happiness can you prepare to meet new love.

Every breakup is a severe emotional shock for the person left behind. During this period, everything around appears in a negative light, and it begins to seem that nothing good is waiting for you. Men and women experience breakups differently. Of course, one cannot say that it is easier for some of them, it’s just that if lovely ladies are allowed to suffer in public and cry into their friends’ vests, then the representatives of the stronger sex prefer to suffer in silence.

So, the breakup happened, the past cannot be returned, so you need to get used to these thoughts and continue to live. But how? , adhere to the following algorithm of actions:

Parting with the past.
Changing the attitude towards what is happening.
Cleansing thoughts.
Strengthening willpower.
Getting yourself in good physical shape.

First of all, let's say that it is impossible to get rid of feelings with the wave of a magic wand. You can fall in love at first sight, but it will take a long time to root out desire, love, passion from your heart.

Point No. 1. Parting with the past

Everything that connects you with your former lover must be thrown away, destroyed, forgotten, etc. To understand how to forget a girl who betrayed you, you need:

get rid of objects belonging to or reminiscent of her - photos, gifts, clothes;
do a full-scale cleaning of the room to clean everything, right down to the hair and the aroma of her perfume;
delete all her pictures and SMS from her mobile phone, blacklist her phone number, and preferably change yours;
block her email address, clear her friends on social networks and limit access to her own pages.

Similar actions must be performed regardless of the cause of the rupture. If you initiated the breakup, the measures taken will protect you from unwanted visits. If the girl announced the end of the relationship, such steps will help you come to terms with the loss faster.

Point No. 2. Change our attitude towards what happened

Try to follow the old wisdom that says that if it is impossible to change a situation, you need to change your attitude towards it. To forget a girl, you need to understand a simple fact: it was she who disappeared, but love (your ability to love) has not disappeared anywhere.

The time will come and you will give your emotions to someone who will not reject them, but, on the contrary, will accept them sincerely and with gratitude. Now let’s skip the situation with an electronic or paper message. It is worth saying thank you to the woman for all the good things you had with her, and apologizing if your behavior caused the breakup. This letter does not need to be sent; you write it not for HER, but for yourself.

Point No. 3. Clear thoughts

Having gotten rid of objects that remind you of her, writing her a farewell letter, you can begin to use techniques that, if they don’t get rid of your worries, will make them fade a little.

Imagine that the air you breathe in through your nose is the best thing in the world. These are changes, updates, a desire to build new relationships. The air coming out through the mouth removes everything negative, gets rid of the past and mistakes.
With each attack of the blues, try to distract yourself - for example, train your memory. Start memorizing poems, aphorisms, a foreign language. This will also bring real benefits.

Point No. 4. Strengthen willpower

How to forget a girl? Use self-hypnosis. Experts recommend imagining yourself in the role of a prisoner, shackled with heavy shackles. These shackles are feelings for a former lover, memories of her. Introduced? Now take in more air, feeling the strength pouring into you, and with an effort of will, break these shackles. Let them fall at your feet.

Point No. 5. Get yourself into better physical shape

Sports exercises and physical activity are another effective method to forget a girl. Try scraping yourself out of bed, go jogging in the morning, followed by other water treatments. This will invigorate you and give you strength for new achievements.

Will help you regain your self-confidence:

push ups;
rocking the press;
pull-ups.

Regular exercise will soon bring not only balance, but also visible results. Agree that it is better to look for a new life partner with strong abs and toned arms.

Another question that worries men: how to forget the girl you love if you see her every day. This is perhaps the most unpleasant type of separation, since it is very difficult to observe the object of desire every day, but understand that you will never be together. What should I do? Take the following steps:

completely ignore her, limiting yourself to short “hello-bye”;
sign up for the gym (to regret the loss);
don’t stay face-to-face;
change jobs (if you are colleagues) or transfer to another department (if you study together).

When answering the question of how to quickly forget the woman you love, you should understand that love is an extremely strong emotional attachment. If you find it difficult to leave your ex-lover alone, in addition to the general recommendations, you should follow other tips.

Think that it’s all over - you and SHE have parted forever, try to get used to this thought. Distract yourself every time if thoughts about your ex-girlfriend arise.
Think about the fact that attachment is associated more with the ideal image drawn in your imagination than with a specific person.
Try to pay attention to yourself, your loved one, and like yourself. In addition, you can finally figure out what you want and what you are striving for.
Enjoy all sorts of pleasant emotions from the rapidly passing minutes and days. Do something you love, come up with a hobby, maybe even an extreme one.
You are free? There's something in this! Try to find some positive aspects in your own independence and freedom. Now you are free to do as you want.
Work more, become a workaholic for a while. Work so hard that when you return home you only have energy left for dinner and sleep. Hard work is a good “cure” for worries and obsessive thoughts.
Even if you feel guilty for the collapse of the relationship, stop “pecking” yourself. A wise person is the one who noted that both partners are to blame for the breakdown of the relationship.

How to let go of the girl you love? Forget that she is so one and only. You are surrounded by a large number of equally (and even more) sweet and pretty young ladies. Start a new relationship.

How to let go of your ex-girlfriend? It is necessary to understand that a breakup is a multifaceted phenomenon in which emotions, actions, reasons and motivations of different parties are closely intertwined. Psychologists recommend considering the situation of separation from several, sometimes unexpected, points of view.

Why are you breaking up?

Think not about how to let go of the girl you love, but about why you need to let her go. Perhaps she met another man? Are you married and have decided to stay with your spouse? Is your relationship weighing you down? Is she afraid that such a relationship will destroy her? Are there any obstacles?

Your best friend or psychologist will help you answer such questions and look at the situation with a “fresh” look. By the way, a specialist is preferable, since he will be able to identify the true reason for the separation.

Experiencing a breakup

Have you figured out the problem and are still breaking up? It is necessary to handle the breakup properly. Psychologists claim that love is a process in which the will is almost not involved. It turns out that will alone cannot overcome attachment. How to forget the woman you love? Follow these recommendations:

Parting is death, tragedy, grief, at least that’s what scientists think. Therefore, you need to survive this difficult feeling; the psyche will not be able to heal ahead of time. Yes, yes, advice from the “time heals” series.
Direct discarded emotions, desires and sexual energy into a positive direction, for example, into creative activity. Take up drawing, sawing furniture (why not), photography, sports, travel.
Think about where you are going. Simply put, what is your purpose in life. The collapse of a relationship is a good time to reconsider your own motives, ideas, and life goals. If you are moving in the right direction, it will give you additional strength.

New relationships

Only if you competently analyze the reasons and motives for breaking up and work on yourself, there is a chance to build a completely different relationship with a girl, based on experience and knowledge.

How to forget ex-wife the one you love? What to do if your heart refuses to let go of the girl you love? There seem to be many options, but they are not suitable for every man. Yes, time is a good doctor, so in a few months the pain of separation will subside and you will be able to start a new relationship. Perhaps they will become the best page in your life.

Hello, I am Nadezhda Plotnikova. Having successfully completed her studies at SUSU as a specialized psychologist, she devoted several years to working with children with developmental problems and consulting parents on issues of raising children. I use the experience gained, among other things, in creating articles of a psychological nature. Of course, I in no way claim to be the ultimate truth, but I hope that my articles will help dear readers deal with any difficulties.

95 comments to the article “ How to forget the girl you love? 4 steps and 7 ways»

I don’t even want to live, I lived for her, and the meaning of life has disappeared.

But there is no need to lose the meaning of life, bro. It's hard for me too! Everything comes in waves, then it’s easy, then it’s hard again! I hope it will go away completely soon. And I’ll meet an even better girl (since she didn’t want to correct her mistakes)! It’s hard, it hurts, but what can you do? Honor above all!
- It’s the same with me. Everything is in waves. It lets go, then it rolls on again. So much so that I feel like I’m at the limit. Longing, fear, despondency, apathy. Horror…
- Krasava said, also in waves. 2 months have passed. Time really heals!
- A girl left me... I loved her with all my heart... I hate my life..terrible experiences and TD... What should I do?
  =(((

Valeria Protasova

Reading time: 4 minutes

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A woman in a relationship rarely remembers her ex-man. And even if he remembers, he doesn’t bring these thoughts out “in public” (why tease your man once again?). Men sometimes allow themselves not only to remember their exes, but also to constantly tell their new wives about them. Fortunately, there are few such men, but this problem does not go away.

What should a woman do if her other half constantly mentions her ex-lover?

Why does he remember his ex?

There are not many reasons:

He compares you to his ex

You wash the dishes wrong, wipe the dust wrong, bake pancakes wrong, and still can’t remember how many spoons of sugar to put in his coffee. But she remembered! Such a comparison is clearly not in favor of your relationship. Although, it is quite possible that he is simply grumbling tactlessly, and these comparisons mean nothing but to “shape” you into his habits.

The past won't let him go

That is, he still loves his ex.

He's just a braggart

Don't feed some men bread - let them tell you about your exploits. Pat him on the head, scold him for bragging and calm down - this will pass as he grows up. Or it won't work.

Wants you to feel sorry for him

Not scary, but nothing good either. A man who seeks sympathy from his wife about a past relationship (“she left me,” “so many years of life down the drain,” “I did so much for her, and she…”) looks at least strange and out of character. masculine A real man will never say a bad word about his ex. Even if she was a real bitch and really ruined his best years of life. However, a real man will not talk about the past at all, so as not to accidentally offend his current wife.

Wants to make you jealous
He just wants to speak out and throw out his pain and resentment to you, as a person he trusts.

What should a woman do, how should she react to a man’s constant revelations about his ex?

First of all, don't panic

What is the point? If he loves her, he will still go to her, and your task is not to descend into hysterics and let him go on all 4 sides. Because if he leaves, it means that this is not your prince on a white horse. And yours is somewhere close (already almost jumped up). And if he loves you, then there’s nothing to worry about.

Try to figure out why he is telling you about her

Pay attention - in what context and how exactly?

If he complains, then he's either a whiner (and this does not bode well for your family), or he “subtly” hints that you should add salt to soups, meet him in the morning with a cup of coffee, learn to steam the creases on his trousers, etc. That is, he wants you to change, but he can’t say it directly.
If he's bragging, talk to him

Just explain that this is unpleasant for you, and that if you hear the story about his exploits again, then only fish and a ficus tree in the corner will greet him after work.

If he wants you to be jealous , explain that such revelations simply make you angry, and do not make you want to love him even more.
If he is tormented by resentment , and revelations about your ex are just a way to get rid of the ghosts of the past, let him talk it out. But be warned that this is unpleasant for you. If the situation doesn't change, things are probably bad and he loves her too much to forget.
Don't try to compete with his ex

He is already yours. That is, you have already won. It may well be that your man simply does not shine with tact, and it does not even occur to him that you might be upset by his memories or mentions of his ex.

Don't joke back

Many women laugh it off, trying to negate the desire to quarrel, or not wanting to offend their husband. But men are straightforward people. If you want to convey something, say it head-on, don’t fuss, don’t try to soften the “blow.” If you don’t like these revelations, tell your spouse so. If he loves you, he will draw conclusions. Otherwise, you will simply become a “grateful listener,” suffering from the fear of “offending” your loved one. And he will get used to it.

Don't ask your man to forget about his ex.

First of all, it's impossible. Secondly, such ultimatums will not give the desired result. Relationships are a page of life that cannot simply be torn out physically. Moreover, if the man before you had not just a beloved woman, but a full-fledged family and children (in this case, you will have to put up with the invisible “presence” of his ex in your life).

It doesn’t matter what his ex was like for your man. It is important that you are with him now. Don’t stress yourself out in vain – a simple conversation sometimes solves all problems at once.

Valeria Protasova

Psychologist with more than three years of practical experience in social psychology and pedagogy. Psychology is my life, my work, my hobby and way of life. I write what I know about. I believe that human relationships are important in all areas of our lives.

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How are you doing? Are you addicted? (there are different addictions - workaholism, alcoholism, etc.) Little is clear here, I suggest that she has a fear of parting with you. This happens with women, due to inexperience - she cannot talk about something important with a man herself, in a conversation, so she attracts a third figure. There is a situation of triangulation. Triangulation is the process of involving a third person or group in a relationship between two people in conflict with each other in order to reduce tension in the dyad (the dyad is your couple). And most likely she does not realize much, so what I want to say…. Don’t cope with your feelings - get angry, worry... this is the kind of woman you have - you chose it yourself. Also, I want to say that what happens in the family is a marker of relationships, it is not that one person is “to blame” for the situation, both are involved in the situation - equally.

How to forget the ex-wife you love? practical advice and recommendations

The habit of considering a woman purer than a man has survived to this day. 2.2 Modern causes of divorce Over the past 20-30 years, much has changed in society. IN modern society Not all women are active opponents of alcohol. Change both sides equally. Only assault by a woman against her partner is unlikely due to physical gender differences.

Info

Therefore, the reasons for divorce can be:

female, not male, addiction to alcohol;
female, not male, infidelity.

But a new compelling reason for divorces and scandals between partners has emerged: absolute financial demands on the spouse. Most modern ladies are sure: the husband’s salary is shared, the wife’s money (if she works) is her personal. The goal of such “zagrebetnitsa” is to place family and personal financial problems on the partner.

The interesting thing is that most men agree with this.

How to forget your wife if you have children together

I know what it's like to turn down other girls because they're "not as good" as your ex was. I know how difficult it is to build new relationships when you have not yet moved on from the previous ones. However, I realized that I need to move on, I need to move on with my life.

Attention

I can’t forget my ex-wife and get over the divorce...

A man engages in self-examination, looks for shortcomings in himself, accumulates grievances against his ex, and feels sorry for himself. But there are ways to get out of this state with the least losses. Content

1. Advice from a psychologist
- 1.1. What not to do
2. Getting rid of guilt
- 2.1. The roots of the belief that men are to blame for divorce
- 2.2. Modern causes of divorce
- 4. Recovery training after a breakup
  - 4.1. "Blow off some steam"

How to forget your ex-wife?

I'm not the only one to blame."

4.3. "Forgive me as I forgive you"
4.4. "A nickel for a miss"
4.5. "Find the good in parting"

5. Live with your spouse for the sake of the children.
6. Super tip for breakups

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1 Advice from a psychologist After breaking up with a loved one, a painful time of adaptation begins. Depression, which inevitably occurs in a person, destroys the psyche.

The sooner this process goes through, the less losses the person will begin a new life. Psychologists highlight the main points that help to cope with this. They are divided into two groups of advice: what to do and what to avoid. 1.1 What not to do Every person is unique, but in similar situations people make the same mistaken actions.

I can’t forget my ex-wife and I suffer a lot.

Living with your spouse for the sake of your children The ideal relationship for a married couple is to raise children together in love and harmony. But unhappy parents will not be able to make them happy. If circumstances are such that divorced spouses have a child, it is impossible to completely forget about the existence of the ex-wife.

In this case, psychologists advise reducing communication with your ex-wife to a minimum. You need to try to spend more time with the child, and not with his mother: go with him to the cinema, to attractions, fishing together or in the company of your friends. If you cannot achieve a complete idyll - the mother does not allow you to be alone with your son or daughter - it is recommended to come to meetings with mutual friends.
The ex will be embarrassed to offend them and will behave with restraint in front of them.

How to forget your ex-wife if you have a child

Find the good in parting” Here it is important to convince yourself: even in bad there is good. The training is as follows: on a sheet with the shortcomings of your ex, they write down the advantages that accompany separation. For example, there was an entry: “It takes a long time to get ready.” The man is nervous, losing precious time. Therefore, now he will write down: “I have a lot of free time, I can play on the computer, read, go to a friend’s house.” Next to the words “he spends a lot on cosmetics” he writes: “I can use the money I save to go on a hike, buy a kayak, pay for a new video editor.” It is not necessary to use a sheet with flaws. You can make a list of pleasant things from parting on a separate sheet. You will remember unrealized dreams that were inaccessible when living together. By writing them down, a man will understand how much good there is around him, how many interesting things have now become available.

Recovery training after a breakup It hurts to accept a breakup with the woman you love. But starting a new life is real: for this there are special trainings developed by specialists. By doing them regularly, you can reduce the adaptation time and get rid of depression quite quickly.

4.1 “Blow off steam” Not everyone has the ability to give vent to feelings. Men often need to learn to let off steam. There are many ways to do this:

playing sports with a significant load;
hitting the boards with a hammer as hard as you can;
inflating balloons until they burst;
screaming at the top of your lungs;
imitation of sobbing with sobs.

Most ways to “let off steam” are associated with loud sounds - this is how the human psyche is structured that the release of strong emotions is accompanied by a noise effect.
Many wives leave their spouses due to the latter's lack of work or due to dissatisfaction with their sex life. Is it possible to forget an ex-wife? Forgetting a wife is much more difficult than forgetting the girl you love. This is due to many factors - you may have children together, friends, acquaintances, property... All this strongly binds people to each other, and most importantly, obliges them to constant cooperation in the sphere of life. Do ex-wives ever get forgotten? Of course, it won’t be easy; it’s more likely to destroy your feelings for her than to simply forget about her existence. The most the easy way Forgetting your ex is about re-educating yourself and changing your lifestyle. What needs to be changed in life Life should be changed in all its areas.

How to forget your ex-wife if you have a child and start a new life

Trust your head so that reducing the frequency of thoughts about your ex will happen naturally. You should also understand that all objects around evoke certain associations.

How to forget your ex-wife if you have a child video

For example, like this:

Find another woman - your new beloved will distract you from sad thoughts, and most importantly, provide you with sexual intercourse, and you will not be drawn to your ex.
Finding a hobby, new hobbies - this will provide you with thoughts in a completely different direction and will significantly distract you.
Have fun with friends - go on the weekend to places where you have not been before since you were married, relax with your friends the way you wanted to relax when you were married.
Work more - take on overtime work, then you can not only earn good money, but also take your mind off bad thoughts.
Go to a resort or another city where you can entertain yourself by meeting old or new acquaintances.

The best way to avoid depression is to spend the time you might spend in torment doing good things: work, hobbies, recreation.

How to forget your ex-wife if you have a child and start

And when my wife found out that I was completely hers again, she stupidly left me, and as far as I know, she went to her employee. You understand, she was with me and corresponded with someone else!!! I fell into severe depression. This happened a month and a half ago. I started to drown my grief with alcohol, I drank for about two weeks, but it didn’t get any easier.

I pulled myself together and stopped, but it got even worse, my thoughts were pressing and my soul was being torn to pieces. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, I moved in with my parents, but it still doesn’t help. Friends say forget it and let's go drink, but it doesn't bother me anymore, and my parents will only be upset once again.

I call my daughter, she says that my mother comes late and my daughter falls asleep alone, my heart bleeds, I can’t forget and everything is very bad. I lie on the bed for days, I degrade, the robot doesn’t work, everything gets out of hand, I completely closed myself off, it’s very painful and nauseating. I wanted to switch to a new girl, but there is no one.

It is difficult to quickly and painlessly forget your ex-wife or girlfriend. Often men “break down” during this period: they start drinking, taking drugs, randomly changing partners, and quitting their jobs. These are the consequences of a depressed person who has lost a loved one. A man engages in self-examination, looks for shortcomings in himself, accumulates grievances against his ex, and feels sorry for himself. But there are ways to get out of this state with the least losses.

Important! If you have a smartphone, you can earn extra money at any time! How? Get 5 ways to earn extra money on your smartphone! Read →

Show all

After breaking up with a loved one, a painful time of adaptation begins. Depression, which inevitably occurs in a person, destroys the psyche. The sooner this process goes through, the less losses the person will begin a new life.

Psychologists highlight the main points that help to cope with this. They are divided into two groups of advice: what to do and what to avoid.

What not to do

Each person is unique, but in similar situations people make the same mistakes. Psychologists have compiled a list of what you should not do after breaking up with a loved one:

There is no need to console yourself with the hope that your beloved will understand her mistakes, realize it, and correct herself. Even if she comes back, the past relationship cannot be returned. Feeling her power over a man, a woman will begin to manipulate his feelings. Relationships will become more difficult. A man in her eyes will lose respect.
Trying to sort things out, making excuses, proving her mistakes will only aggravate the suffering.
Spying on your ex, collecting details of her life through acquaintances - prolonging the adaptation process, postponing relief from depression for a long time.
Build intrigues, trying to quarrel your beloved with your new chosen one, spread gossip about your ex, try to ruin your reputation - this is not like a man. This may bring satisfaction for a short time, but it will lower the man in the eyes of his acquaintances.
It is absolutely impossible to seek solace in alcohol, smoking, or drugs.

What to do

As for what should be done, there are some tips from psychologists:

First you need to get rid of guilt.
Now you need to mentally work through the situation, try to understand the cause of the discord, understand that there will be no return to the past, and draw a plan for your future life.
The third stage is practical and difficult. This is a change in oneself, the environment, the situation. Using trainings, you need to erase your ex from your life, find other interests, and change plans for the future.
The last step is meeting new love. He is the final one. Although sometimes men manage to complete it, bypassing the previous two - this simplifies the situation.

Getting rid of guilt

The first way to help get out of this situation is to find out the reasons for the separation. After all, pangs of conscience and feelings of guilt are pain that most men have to experience after a divorce. Only inveterate egoists easily endure separation, placing responsibility on the woman.

In order to raise the bar of self-esteem, a man needs to figure out whether he is really to blame for what happened. After all, if there is no pangs of conscience, it is easier to forget the past. Public opinion, which often blames men, plays an important role.

Psychologists insist: both are to blame for breakups.

The roots of the belief that men are to blame for divorce

Public opinion in Russia in divorces often supports the woman, blaming the man. There are many reasons for this:

In Russia, women are more likely to initiate separation.
Children almost always stay with their mother. If the father demands that the child be left to him, he is accused of wanting to make his ex-wife suffer more.
Complaining about a woman is unmanly. But it’s normal to cry about a woman’s difficult fate.
The shortcomings of husbands are sometimes alcoholism, drug addiction, infidelity, rudeness in relationships (even beatings). These are compelling reasons that serve as indisputable evidence of male guilt. But regardless of whether these reasons apply in a particular case or not, when discussing a breakup, most people come to the woman’s defense without trying to understand the situation.
In the Soviet past, there were such a small number of women who could be accused of drunkenness, debauchery, or drug addiction that she was deprived of suspicion of involvement in them. The habit of considering a woman purer than a man has persisted to this day.

Modern causes of divorce

Over the past 20-30 years, a lot has changed in society. In modern society, not all women are active opponents of alcohol. Change both sides equally. Only assault by a woman against her partner is unlikely due to physical gender differences. Therefore, the reasons for divorce can be:

female, not male, addiction to alcohol;
female, not male, infidelity.

The interesting thing is that most men agree with this. Some cope with the task, allowing a woman to spend as much as her heart desires. The rest receive constant showdowns, insults, and humiliation from their partner or wife and her mother. The reason for divorce due to financial differences is unjustifiably blamed on the man. Many women have forgotten that the words “spouses” originally meant “walking in the same harness,” “pulling a common cart equally.”

Quarrels out of nowhere, disregard for the partner’s wishes, inattention are obligatory parts of conflicts that lead to the separation of two people. And here, alcohol consumption is not a cause, but a consequence. Reproaches about low earnings are just a reason to make a scandal.

The reason is that she does not love this person. But there are no apparent reasons to break up just like that. According to the “rules of public opinion,” a woman must be an unfortunate victim. Not everyone can admit that she herself is to blame for the conflict, that she has fallen out of love with a good person. For this, those around her will judge her. For many, someone else’s opinion is the main assessment of a person’s behavior.

Fairytale therapy as a way to work through the situation

Relieving yourself of guilt is not the final solution to the problem. A man, even being confident in his sinlessness, does not receive complete relief. After all, it is unclear what to do next.

The use of fairy tale therapy helps to speed up the process of understanding the situation and drawing a plan for future actions. The “Be your own storyteller” method allows you to stage performances where the prototypes of the characters are the man himself, his ex, friends, and parents.

Sandbox for fairy tale therapy

It is supposed to work in a portable sandbox, but you can get by with a regular table. The man chooses the characters. They can be figurines, toys, if any. You can compose a fairy tale from the very beginning or choose one that was initially known.

For example, a man chooses a fairy tale about Little Red Riding Hood. In it he acts as the prototype of the Wolf. Here he is walking through the forest, bored. He meets Little Red Riding Hood, a beautiful girl. This, of course, is his ex. They meet, fall in love, decide to live together. Next, the man plays out the scenario based on his own life situations: for example, showing how Riding Hood forbade the Wolf to meet with friends; the Wolf could even visit his mother only with the permission of his authoritarian wife.

The tale reaches the breaking point of the relationship. The Little Cap kicks out the Wolf or goes to the Bear herself, the Wolf runs away as fast as he can into the forest or remains whining near the gate - the man honestly plays out his version for himself. Now he faces a more difficult task: he needs to develop a plan for further action.

Let's say the Wolf decides to go hunting. But he is ashamed to go into his forest - the flock, which he betrayed by leaving with Riding Hood, will laugh at him. Therefore, he goes to the neighboring forest, where he decides to start a new life: to finally try himself as a singer or wrestler.

What will happen next - the storyteller composes to his own taste. It is important that he made the decision to act. And a good ending (and in fairy tales it is always good) will definitely work out. Having seen how easy it really is to get out of the situation if you start taking action, the man receives a portion of energy, a push.

This is how the principle of fairy tale therapy works. See what happened from the outside, outline a plan for further action - psychologically work through the situation. Of course, it is best to perform the performance for someone, then the viewer’s interest will be fueled by the storyteller’s desire to come up with a creative plot, to find his own solution to the problem. But this method also works in private.

Recovery training after a breakup

It's painful to accept breaking up with the woman you love. But starting a new life is real: for this there are special trainings developed by specialists.

By doing them regularly, you can reduce the adaptation time and get rid of depression quite quickly.

"Blow off some steam"

Not everyone has the ability to give free rein to their feelings. Men often need to learn to let off steam. There are many ways to do this:

playing sports with a significant load;
hitting the boards with a hammer as hard as you can;
inflating balloons until they burst;
screaming at the top of your lungs;
imitation of sobbing with sobs.

Most ways to “let off steam” are associated with loud sounds - this is how the human psyche is structured that the release of strong emotions is accompanied by a noise effect. Fatigue after significant physical activity also relieves mental stress.

"I'm not the only one to blame"

Taking all the blame on yourself and not scolding your ex is commendable, but self-humiliation destroys the nervous system. Telling everyone about the shortcomings of your ex-lover is ugly. But it is necessary to analyze the relationship mentally, finding the reasons not only in your behavior.

It is recommended to analyze the personality of your ex in writing. On paper you need to write down all the unpleasant situations, using short phrases, phrases, shortcomings of your ex-wife or girlfriend. For example: “Dirty hands (does not wash after using the toilet)”; “He is rude in front of strangers”; “Not interested in my blog.” The sheet with shortcomings needs to be re-read every time thoughts about it come into your head.

Over time, the habit of blaming not only yourself, seeing shortcomings in your ex-partner, and not idealizing the relationship will do its job: the man will become less drawn to the past, and will stop dreaming of its return. Gradually, he will learn not to think of his ex-wife at all as a wonderful person whom he lost due to his stupidity.

"Forgive me as I forgive you"

Remembering that both are to blame for a broken relationship, you should accept your guilt by asking for forgiveness for your mistakes. You can do this out loud in a personal meeting. But a real request for forgiveness may be perceived by the ex in the wrong way: as a step towards reconciliation or an attempt to look better than her.

You need to ask for forgiveness not for the sake of someone, but to remove negativity from yourself.

Therefore, training is practiced alone. Every day for a week (the period can be increased if necessary), in the evening a man should sit and relax, close his eyes and mentally say: “Forgive me for everything and let me go!” And I forgive and let you go.” At the same time, you need to imagine how this communication takes place: calmly, kindly, without quarrels and reproaches.

"A nickel for a miss"

To remember your ex less often, you need to prepare not only mentally: remove all her things, trinkets reminiscent of past relationships, gifts, letters and cards, if any. Sometimes you even need to put away or destroy photographs.

Now it’s time to start training-punishment for memories. To do this you will need a piggy bank and change coins. Mentally, a man must set himself a condition of the game: with every memory of his ex, he is overtaken by punishment in the form of being deprived of one coin. This is how you can learn to control your thoughts.

"Find the good in parting"

Here it is important to convince yourself: even in bad there is good. The training is as follows: on a sheet with the shortcomings of your ex, they write down the advantages that accompany separation. For example, there was an entry: “It takes a long time to get ready.” The man is nervous, losing precious time. Therefore, now he will write down: “I have a lot of free time, I can play on the computer, read, go to a friend’s house.” Next to the words “he spends a lot on cosmetics” he writes: “I can use the money I save to go on a hike, buy a kayak, pay for a new video editor.”

It is not necessary to use a sheet with flaws. You can make a list of pleasant things from parting on a separate sheet. You will remember unrealized dreams that were inaccessible when living together. By writing them down, a man will understand how much good there is around him, how many interesting things have now become available.

Living with your spouse for the sake of your children

The ideal relationship for a married couple is to raise children together in love and harmony. But unhappy parents will not be able to make them happy. If circumstances are such that divorced spouses have a child, it is impossible to completely forget about the existence of the ex-wife.

If you cannot achieve a complete idyll - the mother does not allow you to be alone with your son or daughter - it is recommended to come to meetings with mutual friends. The ex will be embarrassed to offend them and will behave with restraint in front of them. Often the ex-wife, realizing the inappropriateness of her presence, leaves, abandoning attempts to observe the meetings of the father with the children.

A way to forget an old love, suitable for everyone without exception, is expressed in the saying: “They knock out a wedge with a wedge.” The phrase means: find a replacement for your ex - get rid of loneliness, soul-searching, depression. Usually new relationships are built differently than old ones, taking into account their own mistakes.

Having accepted the idea that you can be happy with another woman, a man is already taking the first step towards forgetting his ex-wife.

The memories will roll in for a while. But the trainings described above will help reduce the negativity from them to nothing.

A complete change of environment and decor is an excellent option for combating depression. For this it is recommended:

move to another area, city, so as not to meet mutual friends;
close your pages on social networks and create others, with changed data, which only your most faithful friends will know about;
purchase a new SIM card by blocking the old number;
change place of work;
take up your free time with your favorite hobby, which you had only dreamed of before.

It is important how serious a man’s intention is to erase bitter memories from his life. If he has set himself the goal of starting life from scratch, then he will achieve this. And the stronger the personality, the faster this will happen.

And a little about secrets...

I looked at my husband in fascination, and he did not take his admiring eyes off his mistress. He acted like a lovesick idiot...

This may bring satisfaction for a short time, but it will lower the man in the eyes of his acquaintances.

It is absolutely impossible to seek solace in alcohol, smoking, or drugs.

1.2 What should be done As for what should be done, there are some tips from psychologists:

First you need to get rid of guilt.
Now you need to mentally work through the situation, try to understand the cause of the discord, understand that there will be no return to the past, and draw a plan for your future life.
The third stage is practical and difficult. This is a change in oneself, the environment, the situation. Using trainings, you need to erase your ex from your life, find other interests, and change plans for the future.
The last step is meeting new love. He is the final one.

How to forget the ex-wife you love? practical advice and recommendations

Invite your kids over for sleepovers so you can spend more time with them without your ex's involvement.
Come to birthdays with gifts, give them, but try not to stay for long in the old family circle. Children won't be upset if they have fun without you on their birthday.
On days when you have plans to see your children, try picking them up from school with your ex's permission. kindergarten, so you will avoid unnecessary minutes with her.
If you want to avoid communicating with your ex-wife when you meet your children, try waiting for them in the car rather than going into the house.

If you follow these simple tips, you will be able to erase thoughts about your ex without ruining your relationship with your children. How to help a loved one forget his wife Women often face the question of how to help a man forget his ex-wife.

How to forget your wife if you have children together

If you want to think about your wife, think, but don’t force yourself to forget. · Get rid of those things that remind you of your wife. · Stop remembering situations with your wife. She's gone, she's no more. · Distract yourself. Dear readers! We will be very grateful if you share with us your life experiences or comments related to this topic. This will help: How to forget your ex - a step-by-step course for a broken heart You probably constantly mentally ask yourself questions, how could things have been different? Maybe this relationship would have turned out differently? Or why did this happen to me? The course was created for those who want to: forget a girl stop delving into themselves find new love Brief description Regardless of whether it was a long marriage or first love, no matter how impossible it all seems - your mental wound can be healed.

I can’t forget my ex-wife and get over the divorce...

Important

This is very helpful during the recovery period after divorce. One way to do this is to use visualization techniques on these memories to reduce their effect. For example: - Imagine your bad memories of your ex-wife as a layer of dirt on your body.

While it is on your body, you feel disgusted, perhaps even as if someone is crawling on you. I believe this is exactly how you feel. Now imagine taking a hot shower and erasing all the memories from your body. You are clean and the memories are gone. Can I really take a shower? It may seem stupid, but your brain, having reproduced the memories, will now see a double picture.

And over time they will completely go away. 2) Decrease in frequency: Frequency refers to how often these thoughts occur to you.

How to forget your ex-wife?

When children appear, the head of the family, of course, must provide for them too; every year a woman requires more attention and money, all this complicates the situation in the house. Many men, unable to cope with problems, seek salvation in alcohol, some even in drugs, others in other women, and all this inevitably leads to divorce and family destruction. Even if the love has not left, the marriage can still be dissolved.
And immediately after the divorce, a new wave of problems begins, one of which is how to forget the ex-wife you love. A woman can find a reason for everything if she wants to get a divorce. For example, there are cases where a marriage was dissolved because of a car, a beloved pet, or even a broken mug.
The most common reasons are, of course, infidelity, drunkenness, and assault.

I can’t forget my ex-wife and I suffer a lot.

Some cope with the task, allowing a woman to spend as much as her heart desires. The rest receive constant showdowns, insults, and humiliation from their partner or wife and her mother. The reason for divorce due to financial differences is unjustifiably blamed on the man.

Many women have forgotten that the words “spouses” originally meant “walking in the same harness,” “pulling a common cart equally.” Quarrels out of nowhere, disregard for the partner’s wishes, inattention are obligatory parts of conflicts that lead to the separation of two people. And here, alcohol consumption is not a cause, but a consequence.
Reproaches about low earnings are just a reason to make a scandal. The reason is that she does not love this person. But there are no apparent reasons to break up just like that. According to the “rules of public opinion,” a woman must be an unfortunate victim.

Not everyone can admit that she herself is to blame for the conflict, that she has fallen out of love with a good person.

How to forget your ex-wife if you have a child

Whether you are 20 or 60, life can be filled with joy again, perhaps even more than you experienced before. The only reason you can't become happy again is because you won't let go of the old situation. I'm very glad that you made the right choice and want to end the memories of your ex.
This is exactly the solution that will help you recover after a breakup. Let's be honest: breakup is a complex, painful topic. Most people actually need mental healing after a breakup.

And there is nothing wrong with using the right technique for this case. I've been in this situation myself, I know what it's like to wake up and think about your ex. How does it feel to beat yourself up that she now has someone else, and you are left all alone.

But he is ashamed to go into his forest - the flock, which he betrayed by leaving with Riding Hood, will laugh at him. Therefore, he goes to the neighboring forest, where he decides to start a new life: to finally try himself as a singer or wrestler. What will happen next - the storyteller composes to his own taste. It is important that he made the decision to act.

Attention

And a good ending (and in fairy tales it is always good) will definitely work out. Having seen how easy it really is to get out of the situation if you start taking action, the man receives a portion of energy, a push. This is how the principle of fairy tale therapy works. See what happened from the outside, outline a plan for further action - psychologically work through the situation.

Now she has chosen another man or chosen another... Well, yes, you were not the only one and it hurts to admit. This takes time and, possibly, the help of a psychologist.

What is her story - it is quite possible that she is codependent, since she chose an addict (but these are all my assumptions).

How to forget your ex-wife if you have a child and start a new life

Question to a psychologist: Good afternoon! My name is Andrey, I am 29 years old. I got married very early, I was 22 years old, and my wife was 18. A daughter was born, she is almost 8 years old. We lived all these 7 years with scandals. As a result, they divorced a year ago in April.

The application was filed by the wife. The daughter lives with her mother. I suffered all summer and thought about my ex-wife, but I was able to forget her only in September, when I met a girl. Our relationship quickly gained momentum and I no longer remembered my ex-wife at all. But when my ex found out about this, she immediately got involved and began to lure me over to her place.

At first I wasn’t fooled and didn’t pay attention, but eternal tears, words like I’ll give birth to you and a son, I love you, come back to me played their role and I gave up, leaving my girlfriend... My ex-wife pleased me in everything - in bed, delicious food, beautiful words, and I fell in love with her again and was happy. All this lasted about 3 months.

How to forget your ex-wife if you have a child video

Fighting thoughts about your ex-wife There are many techniques for improving brain memory, and there are also ways to forget your ex-wife. Imagine that thoughts about your ex are dirt that needs to be washed away, because it stains you not only in your eyes, but also in the eyes of your friends, acquaintances, and loved ones. After all, you constantly talk about your thoughts, and in a conversation, when you mention your ex, you hardly do it in a pleasant tone, but rather in a negative one. In addition, think not only about yourself, but also about those around you: none of your loved ones wants to see you depressed, and constant stories about your ex-spouse are one of the indicators of your bad mood. In order to be able to erase thoughts about your ex-wife, you need to reduce their intensity, frequency, and then stop completely. Intensity The more often you remember pleasant moments with your ex-wife, the more you suffer.

How to forget your ex-wife if you have a child and start

You should not quarrel with your loved one about this: he will most likely simply hide communication with her from you. It's better to talk to his ex-wife to resolve this issue. It happens that a “rival” not only communicates with a man, but also calls him to visit her, demands money and help. In this case, just ask for more attention so that your man doesn’t have time for her, but the main thing here is not to overdo it, so that in the end he won’t choose her between you and her. In any case, every man can cope with thoughts about his ex-wife; he just needs to remember the negative consequences they lead to. If a person himself wants to get rid of thoughts, he will live a happy and fulfilling life, when all the memories of marriage will remain just in the past. The main thing is not to look for peace in alcohol and drugs, because...