Family in Judaism, as in other leading world religions, plays a key role. According to the truths of Judaism, when the Almighty created our world, he instilled in man the desire for family unity. This confirms the saying of the Torah: “And God created man in his own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.”
The essence of the Supreme is absolute integrity. Having created a single entity in His image, and then breaking it into two halves, He set an extraordinary goal for people: to return unity to the earth, demonstrating the integrity of the Creator on it.
Thus, God instilled in man the desire for balance through. A man's destiny is to fight; he dominates the territory of evil. A - to support everything good and good that is in the world.
Quite strange, but the family in Judaism and Jewish society itself, in general, pay a lot of attention to the negative aspects that are present in life. The emphasis is on various problems. Perhaps there would be fewer of them if the world borrowed more feminine qualities?
The commandment: “Be fruitful and multiply” in Judaism refers mainly to... Because for him there is a clear order to rule over everything he encounters on earth.
The Book of Zohar says that during a meeting of young people, the young man prefers conquest and protection in all senses and manifestations of these concepts. The girl, who was raised in a traditional Jewish family, is modest. Her inner gaze is directed mainly at.
But when family life begins, to some extent there is a mutual exchange of qualities. The woman in the family takes on some masculine qualities, albeit not to the fullest. In turn, the man receives from his woman some gentleness and flexibility in the relationship. Husbands and wives strive to cultivate similar qualities in their children.
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Such a balance in the family supports it and does not allow one side to take over the other side. Ultimately, what happens is the unity of two different people that we talked about at the beginning of the article. It is quite natural that the more such balanced families there are, the stronger and more balanced the society consisting of them will be. And the more ways he has for development.
It is much more difficult for an individual who has failed to bring any changes into this world. Because a lonely person, no matter how talented and purposeful he is in his intentions, intends to take rather than give.
“A man cannot live alone without a woman, and a woman should not live without a husband, and the two of them cannot be without God,” says the midrash. At the same time, the spiritual component in marriage does not exclude. There is not a single indication in the Torah that this is something shameful and sinful.
Strong, protected, intimate relationships always begin from the heart and end with intimacy. The presence of divinity is felt in them, which is capable of creating more and more souls, regardless of whether these souls undergo incarnation into bodies or not.
Based on the work of a young mother of six children,
wife of a rabbi, marriage counselor
life and raising children, Miriam Rabin.
In our community there is often discussion about family relationships and how they should be. The question is especially acute about the dominant the role of a man. But Ivan Karnaukh noticed that in Jewish families, parents develop many wonderful qualities in their children. How do they do this? Maybe the answer is in the family structure?
Who's rich? “...The one whose wife is affectionate and kind”
The Brit Hadasha (New Testament) says: “Husbands should love their wives as their own bodies: he who loves his wife loves himself.” (Eph. 5:28)
In Jewish tradition, love and respect for one's wife plays a big role. The Talmud says that a husband must love his wife as himself, and respect him more than himself (Yevamot 62b, Sanhedrin 76b).
"" "A man should eat and drink less than his means allow; dress as his means allow; respect his wife and children more than his means allow” (Khulin, 846). This means that a person must make every effort (even to the detriment of his own needs) to ensure that his wife and children receive everything they need.
“In household matters... a man must follow the advice of his wife...” (Bava Metzia 59a). “A man should be kind and not picky in his home” (Bemidbar Rabba, 89). "Who's rich?"<…>Rabbi Akiva said: “He whose wife is affectionate and kind” (Shabbat 25b).
" (Chaim Donin. Being a Jew. Chapter 7. Family life: the key to happiness http://www.istok.ru/jews-n-world/Donin/Donin_7.shtml)
The role of marriage
In Jewish tradition, marriage plays important role. “According to the Jewish concept, relationships similar to on relationships between man and G-d is a marriage union between a man and a woman. “If husband and wife deserve it, God’s Presence remains with them” (Sotah 17a). “A man cannot live without a wife, a woman cannot live without a husband, and two cannot live without the presence of G‑d” (Berachot 9:1)" (
When there are good relationships in a family, there is a balance between one’s own interests and the interests of the spouse. We see an excellent example in the Jewish tradition. Three questions are well known
Hillel:
“If I don’t stand for myself, who will stand for me?
And if I am only for myself, then who am I?
And if not now, then when?" (William Berkson. Jewish Family Values Today http://mentsh.com/PDFwebfiles/Jewish_Family_Values_Today.pdf)
Rambam said: “Know that the act of union (marriage - approx. V.N.) is pure and sacred if carried out in the proper way, at the proper time and with the proper intentions.” ((Rambam, Igeret ha-Kodesh). Quoted from: Teila Abramov. The Secret of Jewish Femininity. Israel, p. 24)
Prayer for children
Hana Sarah Radcliffe in the article "Being Jewish Parents - What Does It Mean?" quotes a prayer for children compiled by Chazon Ish:
“May it be Your will, Hashem, our G-d, to have mercy on my child (name), to incline his heart to love You, and to fear You, and to the desire to work diligently on Your Torah. Remove from his path all obstacles that could break this desire, and make sure that everything and everyone on this path brings him closer to Your Holy Torah.” (Chazon Ish, Kovets Igrot N 74. Quoted from: Chana Sarah Radcliffe “Being Jewish parents - what does it mean?” http://toldot.ru/rus_articles.php?art_id=1084)
About education
Below are some important parenting tips from the Tanakh (Old Testament), Brit Hadash (New Testament), and other sources.
“Instruct a young man at the beginning of his path; he will not turn away from it when he is old.” (Prov. 22:6) “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and admonition of the Lord.” (Eph. 6:4)
“What a child says on the street, he hears at home.” (Sukkah 65b. Quoted from: Chana Sarah Redcliffe. “Love and power in Jewish education. Purity of speech.” http://toldot.ru/rus_articles.php?art_id=1046)
"Rabbi Yehuda said: Whoever does not teach his son a craft or profession teaches him to steal. (Kiddushin 29a. Quoted from: Rabbi Joseph Telushkin. “Jewish Wisdom”, Rostov-on-Don, 2001, p. 143).
“You cannot promise something to a child and then not give it to him, because as a result the child will learn to lie. (Sukkah 46b. Quoted from: Rabbi Joseph Telushkin. “Jewish Wisdom”, Rostov-on-Don, 2001, p. 145 ).
“Yehuda ben Teima said: “Be bold as a tiger, and swift as an eagle, swift as a deer, and mighty as a lion, doing the will of your Father in heaven.” (Pirkei Avot, 5:20 http://www.chassidus.ru/ library/avot/5.htm)
Rabbi Shimshon Rephael Hirsch said: “You, who are entrusted with the nurturing of young minds, first of all make sure that children treat both the smallest and the largest living creatures with respect and care. Let children remember that all living beings, like humans, are created to enjoy life. They are also given the ability to feel pain and suffering. Don’t forget - a boy who enthusiastically, with cruel indifference watches a wounded bug or an animal thrashing in agony, will be deaf to human pain.” (Rabbi Shimshon Refael Hirsch, Horev p. 293. Quoted from: Chana Sarah Redcliffe. Love and power in Jewish education. Good manners and love for all the creatures of the Almighty. http://toldot.ru/rus_articles.php?art_id=1034)
""The fundamental principle in raising children is “the left hand (i.e. discipline) pushes away, and the right hand (i.e. love and kindness) brings closer.” But, despite the fact that the words about the “left hand” come first, the “right hand” is more important than the left, because it gives the child the necessary feeling that he is loved. A child will submit to discipline only if it is based on love, because then he understands that strictness is for his own good, because his parents love him and are trying to help him improve his behavior."" (Rabbi Yoel Schwartz, The Eternity of the Jewish Home. Jerusalem , Jerusalem Academy Publications, 1982. Quoted from: Chana Sarah Redcliffe, "Love and Power in Jewish Education. Gaining Authority." http://toldot.ru/rus_articles.php?art_id=789)
“Let the honor of other people be as important to you as your own,” says Pirkei Avot (“Teachings of the Fathers”). In Judaism, actions are important, and parents can demonstrate this in practice. Two challahs on the Shabbat table can serve as a good example for us. Why do we cover these challahs with a napkin when we say kiddush? “Bread is a symbol of food, and an ordinary, everyday meal begins with a blessing over the bread. On Shabbat, the first blessing is supposed to be pronounced not over the bread, but over the wine. Therefore, the custom has been established: before kiddush, cover the Shabbat challah with a napkin so as not to “offend the bread.” ( SHABAT: an island of peace (Jerusalem, 1993, p. 30)
If we have such pity for bread, then all the more we need to have similar feelings towards people! (HELEN MINTZ BELITSKY. Beginning at Home: Raising Menshes http://www.socialaction.com/families/Beginning_at_Home.shtml)
“No one got cut?”
Hana Sarah Radcliffe writes:
“...I will give an example of the patience and endurance shown by Sarah Schnirer, the founder of the Beit Yaakov movement. Many stories about her indicate that she embodied the ideal of a person living according to the Torah. The classrooms and living rooms at Sarah Schnirer's seminar were overcrowded. A glass door separated them. One day, in a careless rush, the girl pushed the bed against the door and broke the glass. Everyone began to get nervous: what would the teacher say? After all, glass is expensive, and the school was constantly in need of money! Sarah Schnirer came in and quietly asked: “Did anyone get cut?” After making sure that everyone was safe and sound, she calmly swept up the fragments.” And no reproaches, upset exclamations! But the repairs cost a lot of money and could have easily been avoided." (Hana Sarah Radcliffe. "Emotional training for parents" http://toldot.ru/rus_articles.php?art_id=806)
"Our leg hurts"
Rabbi Moshe Pantelat cites this interesting case: “They say about the Jerusalem righteous Rabbi Arya Levin that he once brought his wife to the doctor. When asked what was bothering her, he replied: “Our leg hurts.” It was not a pose, it was the most ordinary phrase that expressed the actual state of affairs: he felt his wife’s pain as his own, because over decades of marriage he managed to unite with her into one whole. At this level, the commandment “Love your neighbor as yourself” is fulfilled literally, because there is no wall between a person and those who are closest to him.” (b. Moshe Pantelat. “Jewish Marriage” http://toldot.ru/rus_articles.php?art_id=1082)
Maintaining ritual purity
How wonderfully Rabbi Elazar talks about how a woman is renewed after the mikvah: “Every month a woman is renewed by plunging into the mikvah and returns to her husband as desirable as on her wedding day. Just as the moon is renewed every Rosh Chodesh (new moon), and everyone waits for its appearance, so a woman is renewed every month, and her husband waits for her. And she is loved like a newlywed.” (Pirkei de Rabbi Elazar. Quoted from: Teila Abramov. The Secret of Jewish Femininity. Israel, p. 107)
The Secret of Shalom Bayt (Family Peace)
Shalom Bayt (peace in the home) is the ideal standard for a Jewish family. This is why traditional Jewish marriage is characterized by peace, respect, and caring for each other. In Jewish tradition, marriage is made in heaven. The wedding ceremony is called kiddushin (“sanctification” or “dedication”). Husband and wife understand that they are God's creations and they should treat each other as saints, build a family based on love and respect and justice.(http://members.aol.com/Agunah/marriage.htm)
"In one of the wonderful The teachings of our sages briefly formulated the secret of shalom bayt (family peace): “A wise mother said to her daughter: my child, if you are your husband’s servant, he will be your servant and will honor you as his mistress. But if you are arrogant in front of him, then he will rule over you like a master and perceive you as a servant.” (Esther Greenberg. “Marital Harmony” http://toldot.ru/rus_articles.php?art_id=236)
“Rabbi Yosi said: “...I called my wife “my house”, and I called my house “my wife” (Gitin 52a). " (Quoted from: http://toldot.ru/rus_articles.php?art_id =228)
Vladislav NAGIRNER.
(Tehillim 104:31). The All-Holy One, blessed be He, rejoices that He has created a world of perfection and harmony, “we have been worthy of the Shekinah between spouses.”
“Let him be free for his house...” (Dovarim 24:5)
"Sefer Ha-Chinuch" explains why the Torah commanded that the newlyweds be exempted from military service in the first year after marriage. And even in wartime, he is required to stay at home for the entire first year. This is because even in the difficult hour of war for the people, it is necessary to protect and cherish the family - the basis of the happiness of each person individually and the people as a whole. And the author adds: “... the husband must be with his wife, destined for him to create a family, for a whole year from the moment of marriage, in order to get used to her, better feel his connection with her, and preserve her image in the heart your own and thereby distance yourself from someone else’s woman.”
The importance of spouses adapting to each other
It is interesting that this explanation about the need to get used to and adapt to each other for at least a year, which Sefer Achinuch gives as an argument explaining one of the commandments of the Torah, is also used by the American rabbi, who is also a psychologist, Dr. Nahum Dreiser, in his book "Zivug Min Ha-Shamayim"
Mutual understanding, tolerance and attentive attitude of spouses towards each other play a special role in intimate life. Since this area is associated with a natural sense of modesty, we would say bashfulness, it can sometimes create unwanted problems in the relationship between spouses. Therefore, spouses are recommended to be frank with each other and mutually friendly, to be able to say a kind word and encouragement at the right moment. This enhances the feeling of confidence and promotes mutual adjustment.
A child conceived in purity has a purer soul and better abilities. The spiritual appearance of the Jewish people was determined to a large extent due to the observance of the laws of purity among the people. For, if we are amazed at how great the genius of the Jewish people is and how great and deep the Jewish soul is, which has withstood unparalleled centuries-old persecutions and disasters; Since the moral strength of the people is great, in whose midst the criminal element has always been minimal (unlike other oppressed and long-suffering peoples), we must look for an explanation for this in the purity of Jewish family life, in its “pure source.” We have already said that at that moment of intimate unity of the spouses, when the child’s body appears, his soul inhabits him. And therefore, the more exalted the parents’ feelings at this moment, the nobler the child’s soul.
Among the Jews of Morocco and Tunisia, it was customary to celebrate the evening of immersion of a purified wife as a holiday. The house was cleaned in a festive manner, the children were put to bed early, a festive table was prepared in the evening and the couple dined together, as if they were celebrating a wedding again. In some places, mothers instructed their daughters to perform difficult and unpleasant household chores for two weeks away, and on the day of immersion to try not to get tired, to take a break from work in order to rest both body and soul for the moment of the commanded intimacy.
For many generations, there has been a tradition of spending moments of intimacy in a state of spiritual elation. That is why the family life of a Jew everywhere, throughout the Diaspora, was so sublime, and the souls of children conceived in holiness and purity were pure.
Only a few generations have passed since the observance of the rules of cleanliness began to be neglected in certain circles. And now, unfortunately, we are witnessing a phenomenon unprecedented among Jews - a sharp decline in morality. Cases of murders, robberies and violence, which were unknown to the Jewish community in the past, have become more frequent.
Before marriage, the bride should study the laws of purity with the help of a married woman, preferably a friend
The laws of purity of family life include both general and specific rules. They must be known, observed and followed in every detail. The more carefully one observes these laws, even in small things, the more deeply one becomes accustomed to the mitzvah itself and the more beneficial its influence.
When studying these laws, it is advisable to seek the help of a married woman who can give the necessary instructions and advice. You should not be content with studying independently from books, since sometimes you can misinterpret this or that rule or concept and, out of ignorance, commit a gross offense.
Fulfillment of laws as commandments of the Creator We observe the “laws of purification of nida” not only because we understand their importance from a utilitarian point of view, that is, from the point of view of benefit. We observe these laws because the Creator commanded us to do so. All that we have proven and explained is only one side of the issue. It is possible that over time we will also understand what holiness is and how dependent it is on our fulfillment of God’s laws. Now we can only point out the results of fulfilling the laws and commandments of the Torah. We feel that their implementation ennobles us, we feel how great their influence is on us. As for the meaning of certain commandments, it is hidden from us, and all our interpretations are nothing more than assumptions. Their true meaning is known only to the Creator. Only He alone can show a person how to live in purity and holiness in order to deserve true happiness.
Over the course of all generations, all the commandments of G‑d have been carried out without sophistication and regardless of the search for their reasons and meaning. All Jews knew that the commandment of nidah was a strict law and that those who violated it were subject to the most severe punishment - karet (death). And this was enough for Jewish women to go for a dip, and not in the sparkling clean and well-heated modern mikvah - they plunged into cold water, and even into frozen rivers covered with an ice crust in order to live a holy and pure married life. This spiritually strengthened the Jewish people. And rightly said Rabbi Joseph Kozenman from Ponevezh - ZATZAL:
"The dip our mothers took in the icy water gave their sons the spiritual strength to walk into the flames of the fire."
Maintaining ritual purity is not only a private matter. Our women have preserved the image of our people throughout all generations. Every Jewish man and every Jewish woman must know that the fate of our people is in their hands. To the extent that they observe the laws of ritual purity, they will be awarded, with God's help, a truly happy life. As descendants and successors of generations who remained faithful to the Eternal, they fulfill their purpose and thereby are awarded the honorary title - MAMLAHAT TSOHENIM VAGOY KODOSH (Kingdom of the Priests and the Sacred People).
LAWS OF PURITY OF THE JEWISH FAMILY
Edited by Rabbi N-Bar-Plan
LAWS OF RITUAL PURITY
Before marriage, the bride and groom must become familiar with the laws of ritual purity that they must observe. By the nature of things, this commandment is not advertised, and even those who carefully observe it refrain from public speaking about this theme. This leads to the fact that some concepts related to maintaining ritual purity in intimate life are little known or completely unknown to many newlyweds because they cannot learn them from childhood, like the laws on keeping kashrut and other mitzvot. The purpose of this brochure is to prepare a young couple for the day of marriage, to acquaint them with the responsibility of the spouses to observe the commandments concerning marriage, to explain to them the basic provisions and concepts related to the laws of ritual purity of intimate life and to explain to them the practical application of these laws. It goes without saying that the booklet is also intended for young couples interested in becoming familiar with the laws of ritual purity.
A condensed summary of them is given below.
The laws of cleansing nida are numerous and quite complex, because they take into account the individual characteristics of a woman’s physical and mental state. This brochure, as stated, sets out only the basic laws of ritual purity, so young spouses will need the advice and clarification of a rabbi in some cases. Rabbis have extensive knowledge and experience in this area, they will understand the problems and personal difficulties that may arise in connection with the implementation of the laws of ritual purity, they are always ready to help with advice and resolve problems that arise. Therefore, G‑d forbid that we refrain from contacting a rabbi when the newlyweds have any difficulties or doubts. It should be emphasized that it is impossible to strictly observe the laws of purification of nida if the wife is embarrassed to consult with her husband in every doubtful case and if she refrains from contacting the rabbi directly or through her husband, girlfriend or through the rabbi’s wife.
The brochure consists of two parts: 1) A summary of the laws of purification of Nida and 2)
Special explanations for the bride and groom before the wedding.
1. What is N&D
When a woman begins to have veset - menstruation (or even begins to bleed) - even if it is the smallest drop of blood, the husband and wife are prohibited from physical intimacy. They cannot show any signs of marital attraction towards each other; they are obliged to distance themselves from each other. Due to this distance between the spouses, the wife is called nida, which means:
distant. Hence the likening of Yerushalayim to Nida after the destruction of the Temple and the expulsion of the Jews, as it is said: “Therefore it /the capital/ became Nida” (Eikha,
The treatises of the Mishnah and Gemara, which set out the laws of purification of nida, are called:
Taktat Nida.
Among the types of ritual defilement (TUMA) listed in the Torah, there is also the defilement of Nida. In those days, when all the laws of ritual purity were actually observed, a nida woman was forbidden to enter the Beit Ha-Mikdash, eat from sacrifices, etc. In our time, the concept of a nida has lost this practical aspect (with the exception of intimate intimacy) - a woman Nida behaves in everything as in ordinary times, like all other women. Some people still use the expression “pure” (TAARA) and “impure” (TMUA) when studying the laws of purification of nida, as was once accepted when this concept had practical significance for determining the state of a person - whether he is “pure” (TAOR) or “ unclean"
(TOPIC). Nowadays the expression “unclean” is used in relation to a nid woman, intimacy with whom the husband is prohibited, and “pure” - when this intimacy is allowed.
Although the laws of purity in their true ritual sense (i.e. “TUMA” and “TAARA”)
are no longer applied - the ban remains in force. It should be remembered that the laws of purification of nida apply to any woman who has not immersed herself in the mikveh - before marriage, married or widowed. The prohibitions associated with the state of nida disappear after the bleeding has stopped and the woman has plunged into the waters of the kosher mikvah. Until a woman has immersed herself in the mikvah, even if a long time has passed after her bleeding has stopped, all the prohibitions associated with the state of nida remain in force. Immersion in a mikvah is effective only if all the rules listed below are followed before immersion.
Nutrition, consumption of alcoholic beverages, natural functions - all this in one way or another affects the sexual life of a married couple.
Jewish cuisine was and remains an important factor in the strength of the family. The table is a home altar, the wife is its servant, her mission is to monitor compliance with ancient laws and traditions related to food intake. Once a Jew, when going on a trip, took his own dishes and food with him, so as not to violate these laws. The prospect of once again finding a home table with all the familiar dishes and indispensable rituals made him rush home and multiplied the joy of returning.
There were foods and ingredients that were especially characteristic of Jewish cuisine. First of all, it's garlic. The Jews are said to have become addicted to it during the Egyptian captivity; Even in the time of Pliny, it was believed that garlic arouses sensuality; he retained this reputation among Talmudists. It was often said that a Jew can be easily recognized by his smell, because he eats so much garlic. The heroine of R. Martin du Tart's novel "The Thibault Family" Rachel, only half Jewish, loves sausage with garlic; with this touch the author emphasizes its origin. It was not difficult for the monks of the Spanish Inquisition to recognize the Marranos - pseudo-converted Jews: they always bought garlic before Easter. Jews also highly valued horseradish and onions; in the markets of the Balearic Islands, pseudo-converts were also identified by this feature. Jews also loved lemons; they ate most of them on Easter and on the holiday called Barakh; near every Jewish colony on the Mediterranean coast there was a lemon grove. Tomatoes, which Europe neglected for a long time after their discovery in Mexico, became an integral component of nutrition on this side of the Atlantic Ocean precisely thanks to the Jew, Doctor Sikkari, and they began to be used very widely in Jewish cuisine.
The attractiveness of Jewish cuisine is such that many Jews who have converted to another faith and apostates yearn for it for a long time. Henri En, having renounced Judaism, regretted only its rituals and Jewish cuisine. A certain Rakhlin, a Jew who became an anti-Semite, said that cuisine was the last thread connecting him with Judaism. Although a Jew cannot be called either a glutton or a gourmet, a smart wife will be able to tie him to her much more tightly with the help of a table than with a bed. Alas, having become a “kitchen slave”, she is doubly at risk of quickly gaining weight.
It has often been noted that Jews drink coffee to excess; In addition to depression and nervous disorders, which are caused by excessive consumption of this drink, it can also negatively affect sexual function. Perhaps large quantities of coffee made up for the lack of alcohol, which Jews almost did not drink (this will be discussed below). At the beginning of the 19th century. Serfbeer de Medelsheim described Alsatian Jewish women who get together to drink a cup of coffee: without this, he believes, a Jewish woman cannot imagine her life. Later, Rabbi S. Debray will describe the same Alsatian women, refreshed by countless cups of coffee. In Tunisia and Morocco, coffee replaced tea - in the same quantities and with the same consequences.
Alcohol and Jews. The story of Noah in the vineyards of the Lord is by no means typical for Jews - both ancient and modern. Alcoholism was and remains a much rarer phenomenon among them than among the peoples around them. Kant also argued that women, pastors and Jews never get drunk. One Israeli surgeon said that at Dr. I. Simon's conference on ancient Jewish medicine, held at the Rathi center in Paris in February 1979, he mistook his tablemate for a fellow believer: he drank nothing but water. A good hundred interviews taken with Israelis in 1977 confirm their sobriety, or at least moderation in the consumption of alcoholic beverages. Dr. I. Simon notes that in the Rothschild clinic in Paris, the majority of whose patients are Jews, cases of delirium tremens are extremely rare. The same picture is observed in psychiatric hospitals in the United States.
Even anti-Semites are forced to admit the sobriety of Jews. The Goncourt brothers in their novel “Monetta Salomon” explained Monetta’s abstinence by belonging to a non-drinking people. Drumont himself recognized this dignity of the Jews, but argued that, due to their sobriety, they were too down-to-earth and incapable of comprehending the “poetry of intoxication.” And the Nazi Verschuer, a professor at the Berlin Institute of Anthropology, noted that alcoholism among Jews is rare. In the 20s In this century, more than 2,000 Christians and only 30 Jews were arrested for drunkenness in Warsaw.
However, even the sobriety of some political figures of Jewish origin served to promote anti-Semitism. Sennep's cartoon depicts Léon Blum among the winegrowers of the Hérault department: forced to accept a glass of red wine from their hands, the poor fellow presses a handkerchief to his mouth. Mendez France, the mortal enemy of moonshine, was repeatedly ridiculed for drinking a glass of milk on the tribune of Parliament; If there was even a drop of French blood in him, Poujade argued, he would not drink milk. And, probably, it is no coincidence that Robert Debray, the son and grandson of rabbis, became the first chairman of the government commission to combat alcoholism, and was replaced in this post by Jean Bernard, also a Jew by birth.
Scientists have often wondered: where did the Jews come from such abstinence? They even talked about hereditary innate disgust. However, religion rather played a role here. Talmudists saw wine as the source of all sins: “Don’t get drunk and you won’t sin,” they warned. The rabbis were especially afraid of the effect of wine on women, so the wife could drink only in the presence of her husband. One rabbi argued that women born to alcoholics bear the mark of parental sin on their faces and are forced to hide the red veins on their skin with rouge; fear of such a misfortune could forever turn a woman away from a glass of wine. An alcoholic had no right to testify in court. But the main thing is that a Jew, who had been the object of persecution and hatred for centuries, in order to survive, had to have sometimes inhuman willpower and a sober, calculating mind and therefore could not allow himself to become even weaker and more vulnerable by indulging in drunkenness. Moreover, given the crowded existence of Jews in communities, the tendency of one of them to drink would be immediately noticed and condemned. In the past, Jews, both in Europe and in the East, also abstained from wine for religious reasons: grapes were trampled underfoot by Christians.
However, it also happened that Jews deviated from their habit of sobriety. Thus, to create an atmosphere of fun on the Purim holiday, slight intoxication was allowed and was even considered good manners. Hasidites, representatives of a mystical sect of Judaism, believed that alcoholic drinks in reasonable doses increased religious fervor. In the early 20s. XX century, during Prohibition in the USA, the underground trade in alcoholic beverages was 95% in the hands of Jewish bootleggers. How can you avoid missing a few sips when concluding a deal? Nowadays in the United States, immigrants from Israel control large distilleries, which, however, does not affect their sobriety and gives rise to new attacks by anti-Semites: alcohol, they say, is for others.
For spouses who wanted to have a boy, the Talmud advised them to take a sip of alcohol before intercourse. It was not only the Jews who followed this recommendation. Napoleon wrote to Augusta, the wife of Eugene Beauharnais, that she should drink a little wine every day in order to have a boy. Jewish Agnes Blum, a biologist by profession, who worked for many years in the USA and in Rome on the problem of determining the sex of an unborn child, confirmed the guess of her ancestors using a scientific method: she injected a small amount of alcohol into mice before mating, and the percentage of males in the litter was much higher than usual.
In the USSR, Jews, thanks to their abstinence, were considered the best husbands: not only do they not beat their wives, but they also do not get drunk. A similar opinion has developed in the United States, where Jewish mothers advise their daughters to choose their compatriots as husbands: they rarely “have sex” and don’t even drink. However, Jews successfully spend the money saved on alcoholic beverages on food. One American newspaper notes that Jewish clubs can be easily distinguished by the ratio of income items: food bills are many times higher than drinks bills, while in all other clubs the picture is the opposite.
The sobriety of many generations of Jews over the centuries could not but have a beneficial influence on their descendants. American biologist Snyder writes that Jews, even if addicted to alcohol, are less likely to suffer from various disorders caused by alcoholism; their liver is likely less susceptible to the damaging effects of alcohol.
One English doctor believes that since Jews drink alcohol with meals, its harmful effects are mitigated; in addition, they drink, as a rule, during numerous rituals and ceremonies, accompanying the drinking with prayers; it thus acquires a sacred meaning that prevents abuse. The Talmud states that it will be possible to drink wine freely and without consequences only when the Messiah comes. And yet today's Jews, without waiting for the Messiah, alas, drink along with everyone else, and the former abstinence of this people will soon remain only a memory.
Other bad habit- smoking. The ban on smoking on Saturday could greatly reduce tobacco consumption among Jews - after all, it is very difficult for a smoker to take a break for a day every week. Meanwhile, in cartoons, a Jewish businessman is often depicted with a cigar in his mouth; but perhaps for him it is an image of a male member, reflecting a longing for male power (the lack of which has already been mentioned), and does he light it not out of economy, but in order to preserve the integrity of the organ that it symbolizes?
As for gambling, perhaps this passion compensates for sexual dissatisfaction among Jews. In 1960, US social services recorded more than 50% Jewish membership in 300 gamblers' rehabilitation association meetings.
Natural departures, on the regularity of which the emotional balance of the spouse largely depends, have become a truly obsession of Talmudists. The soft chair was a blessing from heaven. Constipation prevented the believer from concentrating on thoughts about God. A devout Jew should regularly empty his intestines, resorting to laxatives if necessary. The discharge of natural needs was preceded by a whole religious ceremony: one had to turn to face the north, act exclusively with the left hand and, in order not to expose the body, lift the hem of the clothes, only after crouching, then read a prayer. In no case should one be in a hurry: whoever stays in a latrine for a long time multiplies his days and years. Having satisfied a natural need, one should thank the creator with prayer for giving man the necessary openings.
Abbot Gregoire, who advocated for the spiritual revival of the Jews during the French Revolution, never ceased to be amazed at their interest in the “base functions of the body.” “They believe,” he wrote, “that the human soul is saturated with the stench of feces held in for too long.” It seems that something of this trait of the Jews has survived today. In F. Roth’s novel “The Tailor and His Complex,” the hero’s father suffers from chronic constipation, saving himself only with laxatives and gastric lavages. Xaviera Hollander, having become a columnist for the sex page of Penthouse magazine, wrote in the column “On Hygiene” that Jewish mothers constantly give enemas to their children, who most often suffer from constipation. This genuine mania for cleansing the intestines was recently reflected in the ritual of washing the dead among the Jews of Morocco: one of the washers inserted a finger into the anus and cleaned the rectum as much as possible.
Henrietta Asseo, a Jew from Thessaloniki, wrote that Jewish constipation was “harder than cement, stronger than rocks.” Marcel Proust, in letters to his mother, complained about how difficult it was for him to empty his bowels, and these troubles were reflected in the writer’s work: his hero Swann also suffers from “constipation of the prophets.” And Léon Daudet, in his novel In the Time of Judas, enthusiastically describes the Jewish writer Marcel Schwob, who sat for hours in the toilet to relieve himself; coming out of there, he became amazingly eloquent, as if he had eased not only his intestines, but also his mind.
Chronic constipation in Jews can be explained primarily by the habit of a sedentary lifestyle, in addition to low sexual activity. The famous English gynecologist Maria Stone noted that constipation often accompanies frigidity. Another explanation is possible - religious. Even the Essenians in ancient Palestine believed that the intestines, like the whole body, should rest on Saturday; on this day they tried not to perform natural needs. Perhaps some particularly devout Jews followed their example, and the periodically suppressed reflex could have a negative impact on bowel function.
Even in ancient times, Jews carefully hid their excrement. The ancient historian Josephus writes that in this they followed the example of Roman soldiers, who were instructed to bury excrement with a special shovel. In addition, Talmudists from ancient times demanded that the chamber pot be located as far as possible from the Torah. This rule also applied to intestinal gases. Rabbi Yudach said that if someone "sneezes with the bottom" while reading the Holy Scriptures, the reading should be interrupted and wait until the smell dissipates. Other rabbis taught that if someone, while reading, feels that the release of gases is inevitable, he should step aside four cubits, and after releasing the gases, thank the creator and only then continue the interrupted reading. This "anal morality", so dear to the heart of Freud's disciple the Jew Ferenczi, has been instilled in rabbinical disciples since time immemorial and seems to be firmly ingrained in the minds of devout Jews to this day, exerting an undoubted influence on their daily family life.
“If children are happiness, why should there be little happiness?” - say Jewish parents with many children, with equal enthusiasm coming up with a name for both their first child and their ninth.
Previously, every traditional Jewish family had many children. Sometimes it was even unclear how mommy distinguished between the twins Golda and Rivka and managed to make sure that Shloimik did not take the car away from Dodik. A Jewish woman can do all this! And why? Yes, because Jews have always paid a lot of attention to education.
How nice it is to be the youngest... But if you were born into a traditional Jewish family, this pleasure would not last long. As soon as mom starts exchanging conspiratorial glances with dad, eating more cottage cheese and gently stroking her belly, a “tinok hadash” - “new baby” - will soon appear in the house. This means that older children will have new responsibilities: warming up a bottle of milk, washing a rattle, reading a fairy tale in the evening.
While others walk dogs and feed cats, Jewish children learn responsibility by becoming older brothers or sisters.
Yes, the youngest child is the king and king in a traditional Jewish family. He is important person in the house, but only after the parents.
During lunch, mom serves the first plate to dad - and on the plate, of course, is the tastiest morsel; Then he will pour the soup for himself and only after that - for the children. And this, of course, is not because mom doesn’t love them enough. It’s just that from a very young age, children must learn to respect their elders, first of all, their parents. It is not without reason that this is one of the ten main commandments received by Moshe (Moses) on Mount Sinai.
“Love your father and fear your mother,” it is written in the Torah. The Holy Book never says anything that goes without saying. Agree, it would be much more natural and simpler if the commandment sounded like this: “Love your mother and fear your father.” Everyone loves mom, and everyone respects dad and is afraid to disappoint him. But no, the Torah requires you to fear a weak mother and love even the strictest father!
According to the sages, one should not say to one’s father: “Dad, you’re right!” You may ask: what’s wrong with agreeing with your father? Of course, nothing! But if you say: “Dad, you’re right,” it turns out that Dad could be wrong. And this, according to Jewish tradition, is completely impossible.
A Jewish child should not call his parents by name - this is considered disrespectful. There is even a famous song about how a girl chooses her groom. She finally finds someone she likes. But his mother’s name is the same as her own – Sarah! This means that the guy cannot marry her. After all, if he calls his wife Sarah in the presence of his mother, his mother may think that he is calling her by name.
By the way, the problem can be solved if the bride changes her name or takes another one. It is enough to say a special prayer on Saturday evening - bracha, and Sarah-Rivka will appear instead of Sarah. Jewish girls often have several names. However, according to tradition, the name can influence fate. Therefore, a second name is usually given only if something goes wrong - for example, the child is sick a lot.
...All children grow up sooner or later. And mom and dad are starting to get old, nothing can be done about it. And even if their character eventually deteriorates, we must help them, tolerate them and love them. In a Jewish family, adult children take care of their parents not only out of a sense of duty, but with joy and love - just as mom and dad once took care of them.