Scenario theory of E. Bern.

Script theory, developed since the mid-50s by the American psychotherapist E. Berne, explains the process of choosing a profession and professional behavior by the script that is formed in early childhood. Script theory states that relatively few people achieve complete autonomy in life; in the most important aspects of life (choosing a profession, marriage, raising children, etc.) people are guided by a script, i.e. a program of progressive development, a unique life plan developed in childhood (up to 6 years of age) under the influence of parents and certain human behavior.

Script theory draws attention to the fact that a person who is unconsciously guided by a script is not the subject of choosing a profession.

D. Super's theory of professional development.

According to D. Super, individual preferences and types of careers can be considered as a person’s attempts to implement the self-concept. The self-concept is represented by all those statements that a person wants to say about himself. All those statements that a subject can say regarding his profession determine his professional self-concept. Occupational self-concept can also be obtained by ranking professions according to their degree of attractiveness or by taking the subject's actual profession as a statement of his self-concept. Thus, multiple vocational choices may be compatible to varying degrees with personal self-concepts. The subject chooses a profession whose requirements will ensure that he fulfills a role consistent with his self-concept.

Representatives of various psychological schools and directions consider the determinants of the process of professional choice and satisfaction with it, based on their understanding of personality development. Theories of professional self-determination are closely related to theories of professional development.

Considering the professional development of the individual from the point of view of psychoanalytic theory , E. Rowe(1957) proceeds from the fact that the development of interests, abilities, and individual characteristics occurs under the influence of the family atmosphere in early childhood, in the “child-parents” relationship system and influences the subsequent choice of profession (cited by G. Craig, 2000).

In socio-psychological and sociological theories of career choice(P. Blaum, 1956; T. Scharmann, 1965) professional development and choice of profession depend on various types interactions between individuals and a specific social environment (cited by K.K. Platonov, 1979).

A. Maslow in the concept of professional development identifies self-actualization as a central concept as a person’s desire to improve himself, to express himself in a matter that is significant to him. In his concept, concepts such as “self-actualization”, “self-realization”, “self-realization” are close to the concept of “self-determination” (cited by E.F. Zeer, 2005).

Self-concept theory considers professional self-determination as professional development, during which the realization of the self-concept occurs (D. Super, 1963). People tend to choose a profession that matches their existing ideas about themselves. They achieve self-actualization, which is the central motive of human activity, by establishing themselves in a profession that corresponds to their self-concept. This brings them the greatest satisfaction and contributes to their personal growth.

D. Super sees professional development of the individual in the implementation of her self-concept. According to his theory:

People are characterized by their abilities and properties;

Each person is suitable for many professions, and each profession is suitable for many individuals;

Professional development has a number of successive stages and phases;

The features of this development are determined by the socio-economic status of the family, the characteristics of the individual, and his professional capabilities;

At different stages of development, it is possible to manage and contribute to the formation of the interests and abilities of the individual, supporting him in the desire to carry out a test of strength, in the development of his self-concept;

The interaction of self-concept and reality occurs when playing and performing professional roles;

Job satisfaction depends on the extent to which an individual finds adequate opportunities to realize his abilities, interests, and personality traits in professional situations.

Psychodynamic direction, recognizing the determining influence of early childhood experiences on the choice of profession and career development, develops provision 3. Freud that professional activity is one of the forms of satisfying early children’s instinctive needs through “sewerage” into one or another professional area. Thus, frustration aggression can be reoriented to the search for a suitable object of professional activity, and the sublimation of sadistic needs manifests itself, for example, in the profession of a surgeon, the sublimation of aggressive impulses - in the professions of a butcher, boxer, the sublimation of the desire to spy on the intimate moments of someone else's life - in the profession of a psychiatrist, psychotherapist .

Within the framework of orthodox psychoanalytic concepts of occupational choice by Shondi (1948) and Moser(1965) express the idea that professional choice and performance effectiveness depend on the individual characteristics of the individual, who chooses a social environment that is close to his personality. In this way, unconscious needs are satisfied, which, according to the authors, is a specific form of tropism - operotropism (cited by K. K. Platonov, 1979).

IN individual theory of personality A. Adler considers the inferiority complex and the desire for superiority as determinants of the development of certain abilities and the choice of the appropriate field of professional activity. Thus, Napoleon’s aggressive life style was determined by his fragile physical physique, and Hitler’s desire for world domination was determined by his impotence. A. Adler deduced the dependence of an individual’s career aspirations on the order of his birth in the family, the presence of siblings (brothers and sisters) in it. A. Adler’s peak achievement as a theorist-personologist is the creative self. This is a dynamic principle, the root cause of everything human. According to the idea of ​​the creative self, a person creates his own personality, creating it from the raw material of heredity and experience. The creative self gives meaning to life by creating a goal and a means to achieve it.

Personality trait theory by J. Holland (1973) examines the connection between personality traits and career choice. The main idea of ​​the theory is that there is a correspondence between the type of professional activity chosen by a person and its traits that can be measured. According to J. Holland, the success of professional activity depends not only on the intellectual potential of the individual, but also on his orientation, interests, attitudes, and value orientations.

In line with the idea of ​​matching personality traits to the chosen profession is the five-factor model (“Big Five”) as edited by L. R. Goldberg (1992) - the “end-to-end bipolar list.” It is considered as the basis for an adequate understanding of the personality structure and can be used in career counseling (cited by L. Pervin, O. John, 2002). It presents the following factors:

1) neuroticism (anxiety, hostility, depression, self-awareness, impulsivity, vulnerability);

2) extraversion (warmth, attraction to people, assertiveness, activity, search for strong sensations, positive emotions);

3) openness to experience (imagination, aestheticism, feelings, actions, ideas, values);

4) benevolence (trust, straightforwardness, altruism, compliance, modesty, gentleness);

5) consciousness (competence, orderliness, sense of duty, need for achievement, self-discipline, prudence).

L. Pervin, O. John (2002) believe that, according to the five-factor model, individuals with high scores on extraversion should more often prefer and act more successfully in social and teaching professions compared to introverts. People who score high on openness should be more likely to choose and be more successful in artistic and research fields (i.e., journalism, writing) than people who score lower on openness. Since the professions of artists and researchers require curiosity, inquisitiveness, creativity and independent thinking, they are more suitable for individuals who score high in openness to experience. The five-factor model can provide a complete portrait of an individual; it is especially valuable in the field vocational guidance and consultations.

Among the theories that consider individual personal properties as an important determinant of professional choice is the theory of leading trends.

Theory of leading trends(L.N. Sobchik, 2002) is based on the idea that the presence of certain individual personal properties predisposes an individual to choose an appropriate professional activity. As the basis for psychodiagnostic research, the theory of leading tendencies makes it possible to compare the results of different tests, projective and semi-projective techniques by analyzing phenomenologically similar indicators and self-assessment data, and also makes it possible to bring together the approaches of different researchers and specialists when studying individual personality properties.

Leading tendencies, according to Ya. N. Sobchik, in the form of moderately expressed individual personal properties, such as introversion or extraversion, emotional lability or rigidity, sensitivity or spontaneity, anxiety or aggressiveness, are found on different levels self-awareness as a core characteristic that determines the characteristics of the emotional, motivational spheres, interpersonal behavior, social activity, which significantly influences the hierarchy of an individual’s values ​​and the choice of sphere of professional activity.

Research has shown that individuals who do not have professional experience, but feel the need (unconscious tropism) to engage in a certain activity, exhibit tendencies that underlie this choice and are of professional importance. Long-term observations of the destinies of the people examined allow us to assert that leading trends not only shape the constitution and character of an individual, but also predetermine many things in his life: the choice of profession, life partner, sphere of interests and social activity.

Scenario theory of career choice explains the professional choice of an individual by its structure and the dominance of one of the ego states (I am an adult, I am a parent, I am a child). In his professional behavior, an individual is guided by a program, a life plan, developed in early childhood under the influence of his parents. The scenario presents motives, life goals, ready-made experience of parents, predictability of life outcome (E. Bern, 1991, cited by S. V. Ostapchuk, 2003). The theory examines possible negative factors for a person’s career: compensation for parental professional failures, continuation of parental career intentions in the child’s professional life, strict adherence to gender stereotypes when raising a child.

Decision theory considers the choice of profession as a system of orientation in different professional situations with subsequent decision-making. The criterion for professional choice is expected success, which is correlated by the individual with the significance of the goal, the likelihood of achieving it, as well as the readiness for failure and risk (cited by A. V. Prudilo, 1996).

Professional self-determination and professionalization contribute to satisfying the individual’s need for self-development and self-actualization, which are the central idea of ​​many modern theories and concepts about man. The idea of ​​self-transcendence, a person’s going beyond the boundaries of his “I” and focusing his social activities on others, is also important for understanding the individual and his professional development. A. A. Rean and Ya. L. Kolominsky (1999) present self-actualization and self-transcendence as a single process based on the effect of complementarity, “superposition.” This process manifests itself in professional self-determination, built on the “person-profession” relationship, in which the individual goes beyond the boundaries of his “I” through the transfer of personal properties and professional plans to the world of professions.

The success of professional self-determination, the task of which is to form the internal readiness of an individual to plan and build a professional career, is also determined by the content, methods and forms of career guidance and career counseling work.

Script theory, developed since the mid-50s by the American psychotherapist E. Berne, explains the process of choosing a profession and professional behavior according to the scenario that is formed in early childhood.

Script theory states that relatively few people achieve complete autonomy in life; in the most important aspects of life (marriage, raising children, choosing a profession and career, divorce and even the method of death), people are guided by a script, i.e. a program of progressive development, a kind of life plan developed in early childhood (up to 6 years of age) under the influence parents and determine human behavior. The benefits and advantages of the scenario are obvious: it provides the most important motivation for life decisions, a ready-made life goal and predictability of life outcome, an acceptable way of structuring time and the ready-made experience of parents. Although the theory indicates greater flexibility and mobility of the script apparatus compared to the genetic apparatus and its variability under the influence of external factors (life experience, instructions received from other people), the script does not allow a person to become a true subject of his own life. For those who are completely guided by the script, the following statement can be applied: “If a mother tells her children that they will end up in a madhouse, then this is what happens. Only girls most often become patients, and boys become psychiatrists.”

A person who has a script apparatus also has his own independent motives - “these are visible ideas about what they would do if they could do what they want to do.”

Script theory draws attention to the fact that a person who is unconsciously guided by a script is not the subject of choosing a profession. Each person includes three psychological positions: Child, Adult and Parent. The general scheme of the scenario construction of a person’s choice of profession and career is as follows: The decisive (motivating) influence in building an individual’s career or professional plan comes from the Child of the parent of the opposite sex. The adult state of the I parent of the same sex gives a person models, a program of behavior. The parental states of two parents (mother and father) endow a person with recipes, rules and regulations of behavior that constitute anti-script person. For example, a boy-son who chooses a profession and career receives from his mother (from the state of the Child I-Mother) an incentive to be a doctor, but not just a doctor, but also a “winner.” Both the father (Parental state of the Self-father) and the mother (Parental state of the Self-mother) of the boy point out to him the need to become a good doctor, and the father (Adult state of the Self-father) reveals to the boy the secrets of the professional training of a doctor (Fig. 1). If a boy, who is also endowed with certain abilities, accepts the scenario, then in the end we are dealing with an example of a good career. In order for “good” career scenarios to actually take place, a number of conditions must be met:

parents want to convey, and the child is ready and predisposed to accept this scenario;

the child must have developed abilities that correspond to the scenario and life events that do not contradict the content of the scenario;

both parents must have their own "winner" scenarios(i.e. their own scripts and anti-scripts coincide).

Scheme of parents' influence on the choice of children's professional scenario

Note: P - psychological position “Parent”, Vz - position “Adult”, D - position “Child, Child”

Scenario theory considers possible negative scenarios for the subject’s subsequent career:

strict sexual preference of parents when raising a child,

the order of birth of a child in the family and the presence of brothers and sisters,

compensation for parental professional failures,

continuation of parental career intentions in the professional fate of the child,

prohibition of a child exceeding parental professional achievements, etc.

In the structural section of the scenario theory, an explanation is given for the content of professional choices in connection with the structure of the subject’s personality and the dominance of one of the states of the Self (Parent, Adult, Child). In the terminology of structural analysis, a person is happy when the most important aspects of Parent, Adult and Child are consistent with each other; What is important for a good professional career is the ability of people to isolate Parent, Adult and Child so as to allow each of them to perform their functions. For some people, the dominant state of the Self becomes “the main characteristic of their profession: priests are mainly Parents; diagnosticians - Adults; clowns - Children."

So, psychological position Parent dogmatically influences the individual, saves the energy of the individual, makes and strictly implements decisions, succeeds in cases where the decisions he makes are consistent with the surrounding cultural environment. There are two types of Parent: the dogmatic, punishing Parent and the protective breadwinner. A person who behaves like a dogmatic Parent is a hard-working and duty-bound person who judges, criticizes and manipulates others, as a rule, chooses professions associated with the exercise of power over other people (military, housewives, politicians, company presidents, clergy) . A person who constantly behaves as a parent-breadwinner acts as a constant nanny, a savior, a benevolent dictator, a saint. Among people of this type there are secretaries who take care of each employee, bosses who try to interfere in the personal lives of their subordinates, but are unable to influence wisely; social workers.

Child, strives for impulsive reactions, does not know how to think and make decisions independently, and does not take responsibility for his behavior. In the professional life of the Child, he is attracted to areas of activity where independent decision-making is not required, but the execution of someone’s orders is necessary (work on an assembly line, on the playing field, prostitutes, etc.).

A person who behaves as if he were constant Adult, impartial, focused on facts and logic, strives to process and classify information according to previous experience. Such individuals choose professions where they do not have to deal with people, where abstract thinking is valued (economics, computer technology, chemistry, physics, mathematics).

Adler's ideas about personality development as a process of overcoming the initial feeling of inferiority received a unique continuation in the works of E. Berne.

People are born helpless and completely dependent on their environment. But a number of them, let's call them Winners, successfully cope with the transition from complete helplessness to independence. Another type of people - Losers (Losers, Frogs) - from a certain moment they begin to avoid responsibility for their lives, get used to manipulating themselves and others, they feel sorry for themselves and shift responsibility for their dysfunctional life onto others. Their typical behavior is to blame others and justify themselves. Losers rarely live in the present; they live either in the past, lamenting: “If only...” (“If only I had married someone else,” “If only I had been born rich...”, “If only I had a different job...”), or they expect magical salvation in the future (“When I get rich...”, “When I graduate from school...”, “When a new job comes along...”), or are afraid of future misfortunes (“What if I break my leg...”, “What if I won’t be accepted into college...", "What if I lose my job...", "What if I make a mistake...").

Their head is occupied with thoughts that are not currently relevant to the matter at hand, so it is not surprising that the effective use of their abilities in real life is difficult and they themselves provoke more and more failures. Some Losers describe themselves as successful but anxious; as successful but trapped, or successful but unhappy, or completely exhausted, even sick. Losing Frogs, even pointing out some positive moments in their lives, will always add out loud or silently; “But...” (“I would have had a gold medal at school, but they deliberately bombarded me”, “I have an interesting job, but the boss is a tyrant”, “My husband and I would live well, but my mother-in-law ruins everything for us”, “The children are good, but they often get sick”).

Most of the time they play roles, pretending, manipulating, spending energy on maintaining masks, often hiding their true face. They see themselves and others as if in a distorted mirror, not trusting people, avoiding mutual intimacy or openness. Instead, Losers try to manipulate others into acting in accordance with their expectations. Their energies are directed towards living by following the expectations of others, giving in to others, acting as a Victim. But, by the way, the Persecutor, the Rapist, the Attacker are simply the other pole of the same Losers, but seeking to disguise their feelings of inferiority with increased aggressiveness, cruelty, and “toughness.”

Children aged 7-8 years develop an idea of ​​their own value and the value of others, and develop psychological positions. If they touch their image, people decide: I'm witty, I'm stupid, I'm strong, I'm crazy, I'm nice, I'm terrible, I'm doing everything right, I'm better than everyone else, I don't deserve to live ( much depends on what the child heard from his parents). When people perceive psychological positions relative to others, they are determined by:

1. “No one will give me anything”;
2. “People are wonderful”;
3. “Nobody loves me”;
4. “People are nice”;

Our attitude towards life and towards people is usually formed from childhood. For example, strict parents inspired: “Life is a jungle, where everyone is only for themselves, so don’t expect good things from people. Until a person has proven that he is decent, stay away from him.” People who have such beliefs don’t talk about it because they don’t trust others.

Or another option, when tired and sad parents teach: “Life is a complicated thing, and people are different. Don't be too trusting, take a closer look at others. If you are convinced that you are good, that’s one thing, but if you see that you are bad, that’s another thing. Until you figure it out, don’t let me get close to you.” The child believes and does not let him.

Each of these attitudes has the power to organize life and confirms itself. For example, if a woman says that “all men are bastards,” she will have both evidence and facts. She’s telling the truth: indeed, all the men around her behave like bastards, but it’s with her. She assumes that it will be like this, expects it, and eventually gets it. If you trust people and expect good things from them, then, as a rule, you will meet more good people than bad ones; your positive field attracts the former and even improves the latter.

Basically, the positions are as follows: I am good, I am bad, others are good, others are bad. Their combination leads to the formation of four types of fate. The first is associated with the position: “I am good, others are good.” This is psychologically reliable, a person believes in himself and in people, recognizing both his own importance and the importance of others, he is able to constructively solve his own problems, being a Winner. Such a person feels: “Life is worth living!”

Second position (and second fate): “I am bad, others are good.” It is shared by people who feel powerless, inferior and the meaninglessness of existence. This position leads them to distance from other people, depression, neuroses, and in extreme cases, to suicide. Some of the Losers try to compensate for their internal feelings of inferiority by striving to achieve success in their careers, in sports, in sex, in business, but each time this only dulls the feeling of inferiority for a while, and then it worsens with renewed vigor. A person with such a life attitude feels: “My life is worth little.”

Scenario- This is a gradually unfolding life plan that is formed in early childhood, mainly under the influence of parents. This psychological impulse pushes a person forward towards his destiny, and very often regardless of his resistance or free choice.

Losing Frogs, even pointing to some positive moments in their lives, will always add out loud or to themselves: “But...” (“I would have had a gold medal at school, but they deliberately “bombed me””, “I have an interesting job, but the boss is a tyrant”, “We would live well with our husband, but our mother-in-law spoils everything for us”, “The children are good, but they often get sick”),

Most of the time they play roles, pretending, manipulating, spending energy on maintaining masks, often hiding their true colors. They see themselves and others as if in a distorting mirror, not trusting people, avoiding mutual intimacy or openness. Instead, Losers try to manipulate others so that they act in accordance with their expectations. Their strengths are aimed at living, following the expectations of others, giving in to others, acting as a Victim. But, by the way, the Persecutor, the Rapist, the Attacker are simply the other pole of the same Losers, but seeking to disguise their feelings of inferiority with increased aggressiveness, cruelty, and “toughness.”

Children aged 7-8 years develop an idea of ​​their own value and the value of others, and develop psychological positions. If they touch their image, people decide: I'm witty, I'm stupid, I'm strong, I'm crazy, I'm nice, I'm terrible, I'm doing everything right, I'm better than everyone else, I don't deserve to live ( much depends on what the child heard from his parents).

When people perceive psychological positions relative to others, they are determined by:

• “People will give me everything I want”;
• “No one will give me anything”;
• “People have no intention of doing good”;
• “People are wonderful”;
• “Nobody loves me”;
• “People are nice”;
• "Every man is low." (Here, too, a lot depends on what the parents said about other people and how the child’s life experience really developed: he saw more good or bad from his parents, acquaintances, strangers.)

Our attitude towards life and towards people is usually formed from childhood. For example, strict parents inspired: “Life is a jungle, where everyone is only for themselves, so don’t expect good things from people. Until a person has proven that he is decent, stay away from him.” People who have such beliefs don’t talk about it because they don’t trust others.

Or another option, when tired and sad parents teach: “Life is a complicated thing, and people are different. Don’t be too trusting, take a closer look at others. If you are convinced that he is good, that’s one thing, but if you see that he is bad, that’s another. Until you figure it out, don’t let me get close to you.” The child believes and does not let him.

A third option is also possible, when kind parents inspire: “Life is wonderful. Of course, there are unkind people, but you can't go wrong if you're open-minded. Until a person has proven that he is bad, consider that he is good, kind, decent.”

Each of these attitudes has the power to organize life and confirms itself. For example, if a woman says that “all men are bastards,” she will have both evidence and facts. She’s telling the truth: indeed, all the men around her behave like bastards, but it’s with her. She suggests

what will happen, expects it and eventually gets it. If you believe people and expect good things from them, then, as a rule, you will meet more good people than bad ones, your positive field attracts the former and even improves the latter.

Basically, the positions are as follows: I am good, I am bad, others are good, others are bad. Their combination leads to the formation of four types of fate. The first is associated with the position: “I am good, others are good.” This is psychologically reliable, a person believes in himself and in people, recognizing both his own importance and the importance of others, he is able to constructively solve his own problems, being a Winner. Such a person feels: “Life is worth living!”

Second position (and second fate): “I am bad, others are good.” It is shared by people who feel powerless, inferior and the meaninglessness of existence. This position leads them to distance from other people, depression, neuroses, and in extreme cases, to suicide. Some of the Losers try to compensate for the internal feeling of inferiority, striving to achieve success in their careers, in sports, in sex, in business, but each time this only dulls the feeling of inferiority for a while, and then it intensifies with renewed vigor. A person with such a life attitude feels : “My life is worth little.”

The third position occurs when the child has heard and himself experienced more bad than good that his parents or other people inflicted on him. Many grievances, injustice and difficult life situations teach him to evaluate those around him as bad, while he can only rely on himself, which means: “I am good, and others are bad.” If this is so, then a person can either suffer from his environment (the position of the Victim), or is ready to humiliate, insult, even kill others (the position of the Persecutor) and believe that “other people’s lives are worth little.”

Every person, even in childhood, most often unconsciously, thinks about his future life, as if scrolling through his life scenarios in his head. Everyday behavior is determined by reason, and the individual can only plan the future, for example, what his spouse will be like, how many children there will be in their family, etc. “A scenario is considered to be what a person plans to do in the future as a child,” - believes E. Bern.

Scenario- This is a gradually unfolding life plan that is formed in early childhood, mainly under the influence of parents.

This psychological impulse pushes a person forward towards his destiny, and very often regardless of his resistance or free choice.

The child receives examples and instructions when he listens to fairy tales, sings songs, watches cartoons, puts himself in the place of the hero, and goes with him through life.

From 2 to 5 years, he will form a general plan for his life, in which all the most important events of his life are defined: who to marry, how many children to have, when and from what to die, what to be happy about and what to be upset about, how often to be offended, how to treat yourself , to the world, to the people. But the most important choice of a child is whether he prefers a scenario with a bad or a good ending. The Loser’s script is laid out by the following scenes: “Why is he spinning around!”, “Look how pale he is!”, “You’ll catch a cold!”, “Don’t yell!”, “I’ll leave you!”, “You’re bad,” etc. And accordingly, in fairy tales, of all the characters who are personally close to him, it is not the frog that anyone loves or any energetic villains (and the fact that they end badly is quite understandable and acceptable).

Lucky’s script is defined by scenes like: “Let’s go play”, “Isn’t he adorable?!”, “ Good boy“,” “I believe in you,” “You are strong and kind,” “You can do it.” And in fairy tales he is the Prince, she is the Princess.

Winners and Winners are distinguished by the fact that for them the most important thing in life is not achievements, but authenticity (the opportunity to be oneself), the main thing for them is to realize their individuality, they value it in others. They don't spend their lives fantasizing about who they could be. Being themselves, they do not become arrogant, do not make claims, and do not manipulate others. They are not afraid to think for themselves, but they also do not pretend to have all the answers. They listen to the opinions of others, evaluate what they say, while at the same time coming to their own conclusions. Winners do not pretend to be helpless and do not play blame game. They take responsibility for their own lives. Of course, sometimes it happens that they lose ground and suffer failures, however, despite all the obstacles, they do not lose the main thing - faith in themselves.

Winners know how to be spontaneous: they do not have a rigid predetermined course of action, they change their plans when circumstances require it. Winners have an interest in life and enjoy work, games, other people, nature, food, sex. While freely enjoying life, they can also delay gratification and discipline themselves in the present for the sake of pleasure and success in the future. Even when faced with adversity, Winners do not consider themselves powerless, do not set themselves up for failure, but, on the contrary, live to make the world around them at least a little better. Everyone can become a significant, thoughtful, aware, creative person - a productive person. Winners only need to set themselves the goal of becoming like that - capable of winning in life. This can only be achieved consciously and purposefully.

For the chosen scenario, a person unconsciously begins to select the appropriate people and the same circumstances. The most important scenes will be rehearsed in ever more detailed form until they become part of the character and destiny of that person.

The scenario will determine his most important choice, way of life, life. For example, the performer of the role of the Victim will find himself in numerous situations where he is offended, underestimated, oppressed, humiliated, even raped, and unconsciously he can often create and provoke these situations with his entire appearance and behavior.

Psychological positions also depend on gender. Each of us has two assessments of ourselves: one is general, and the other is gender-related. Sometimes they are close, sometimes they are different. For example, some people adhere to the position “I am good” regarding their educational and professional activities, but regarding themselves as a man or woman - “I am not good, ugly, I will never become a real man/woman.” For example: “I am a successful businessman (or scientist, or good specialist), but I fail as a man, especially in my family”; or: “I have achieved the highest levels of business success, but I don’t feel like a woman.” Some people believe that one gender is good and the other is bad. For example: “Men are smart, but women are stupid”, “Men are vicious, but women are pure”, “Women are sweet and gentle, but men are tyrants”, “Women cannot be trusted”, etc. Having adopted a psychological position, a person tries to strengthen it to maintain your perception of the world around you. It becomes his life position, life scenario.

This process can be represented as follows:

Experiences - Decisions - Psychological positions - Scenario that reinforces behavior.

Thus, life scripts are based in most cases on parental programming. In this way, parents pass on their experience to their children, everything they have learned (or think they have learned). If adults are losers, then they program losers. If the winners, then they determine the fate of their child accordingly. And although the result is predetermined by parental programming for good or bad, the child can choose his own plot.

According to the concept of transactional analysis by E. Berne, the scenario assumes:

1. parental instructions;
2. suitable personal development;
3. decision in childhood;
4. actual “involvement” in some special method that brings success or failure.

In adolescence, a person encounters many people, but he intuitively looks for those partners who would play the roles assumed by his script (they do this, because the child also plays a role that corresponds to their settings). At this time, the teenager finalizes his script taking into account the environment.

If a scenario is considered to be something that a child plans to do in the future, then life path- this is what actually happens.

To some extent, it is predetermined genetically (see the concept of victimology by Ch. Teutsch), as well as by the scenario that parents create, and various external circumstances. Illnesses, accidents, war can derail even the most careful, comprehensively substantiated life plan. The same thing happens if the “hero” suddenly turns out to be “included” in the script of some stranger - for example, a hooligan, a murderer, a reckless motorist. A combination of such factors can close the way for the implementation of a certain line and even predetermine the tragedy of life’s path.

There are many forces influencing human destiny:

1. parental programming maintained by the “inner voice” that the ancients called the “demon”; constructive parental programming, pushed by the flow of life;
2. family genetic code, predisposition to certain life problems and behaviors; external forces, still called fate;
3. free aspirations of the person himself.

The product of the action of these forces turns out to be different types of life paths, which can mix and lead to one or another type of fate: scripted, unscripted, violent or independent. Ultimately, the fate of each person is determined by himself, his ability to think and have a reasonable attitude towards everything that happens in the world. A person plans his own life. Only then does freedom give him the strength to carry out his plans, and strength the freedom to comprehend them, and, if necessary, to defend them or fight the plans of others.

In scenario analysis, psychotherapists call the winners Princes and Princesses, and the losers Frogs. The task of the analysis is to turn the Frogs into Princes and Princesses. To do this, the therapist must find out who represents the good people or the bad guys in the patient's scenario. Next, clarify what kind of winner the patient can be. He may resist his transformation, since perhaps he is not going to a psychotherapist for this at all. Maybe he wants to be a brave loser. This is quite acceptable, because, having turned out to be a brave loser, he will feel more comfortable in his script, whereas, having turned into a winner, he will have to abandon the script and start all over again. This is what people usually fear.

Table 5.7

Scenario- something that a person in childhood plans to do later. He determines what to be happy and sad about, how to treat yourself and others, whom to marry and how many children to have, when and from what to die, a good or bad end.

The general plan of life is formed in early childhood (from 2 to 5 years) under the influence of:

• parental programming (words, instructions, instructions, patterns of parental behavior);
• fairy tales, cartoons, books;
• decisions made based on experiences;
• emerging psychological position.

A person unconsciously selects the appropriate people, situations and circumstances for the chosen scenario.

Real fate (life path) is what is happening in reality. It is determined by the script, genetic code, external circumstances, and human decisions. The type of fate depends on this: scripted or non-scripted.

As already noted, four main life scenarios are possible. Let's remind them:

1. “I am good, they are all good, life is good”; Winner scenario.
2. “I am bad, They are bad, life is bad”; scenario of the Defeated, the loser.
3. “I am good, but They are bad, life is bad”; The Angry Pessimist script.
4. “I am bad, and They are good”; scenario of Inferiority Complex. The life scenario influences the life positions that a person exhibits in his career, work, marriage, and in the sphere of human relationships. They can be positive or negative; in total, there are seven options for life positions (Fig. 5.2).

Idealization of reality- This is a beginner's position. She is characterized by anticipation, enthusiasm, and the belief that literally everything will go well (typical for the initial stage of a career, when getting married).

When a person becomes aware of the deepening gap between exaggerated expectations and desires, on the one hand, and real circumstances, on the other, he begins to experience feelings of anxiety and anxiety, he asks himself questions: “What is happening in the end? Where am I going?" These are typical signs collapse of hopes.

A period of anxiety and indecision sets in, fueled by a growing fear that things will continue to get worse than expected. The ongoing destruction of hopes (which, by the way, often occurs only because of false fears and one’s own indecision) brings an increasing feeling of anxiety, irritation, anger, a desire for active rebellion, protest, the essence of which can be expressed approximately in the following words: “I think I’ll have to force them to change everything here, since no one dares to do it.” At the core of this position of defiance is anger and defiance. It manifests itself in two ways: hidden and overt. It's not constructive by any means, but covert defiance is especially counterproductive in the long run.

Retirement how a life position is formed when a person feels that it no longer makes sense to even try to somehow change the course of things. Often people do this at work or in the family, physically continuing to ostensibly participate in the activity. People who take this position, as a rule, become grumpy, vindictive, prefer loneliness, are addicted to alcohol, are easily irritated, and diligently look for the shortcomings of others. The described life position is fraught with serious consequences not only for the one who adheres to it, but also for those around him: it can become a contagious disease, and only a different life position can help.

People resort to awareness when there is a feeling of responsibility and a desire to change something in themselves. You have to be aware of who you really are and be aware of the real possibility that things will go very badly if you don't change something about yourself.

Determination- active life position. A person decides to actually act in the chosen direction, mental vigor arises, relieving stress, and a surge of strength and energy is felt.

Conviction comes to us when we stop expecting perfection from our work, family relationships, and interactions with others and nevertheless want our affairs to go well. There is an active, constant desire to improve the existing state of affairs. Work becomes doable and human relationships become productive when we consciously abandon the “sky in diamonds” and move shoulder to shoulder with others towards our goals.

Subsequence, in which life positions are objectified in different people, is not established once and for all. However, one way or another they have a very definite influence on everything that this or that person does.

People's positions and values ​​(what is most important and significant, what is necessary for life satisfaction) are different, which is why their lives themselves are not the same. To establish control over his life, a person needs to analyze his chosen life position and goals.

Answer these questions:

1. What is my current position? (For every area of ​​life: work, family, informal communication.)
2. What has been my position in life in each of these three areas over the past twelve months?

Discuss the answers to these questions with someone who knows you well and is able to openly disagree with you. This way you will more accurately assess the real state of things. Then show with an arrow what position in life you would like to take in the future (Fig. 5.3).

Analyze the discrepancies between previous expectations, reality and hopes for the future:

1. List all your previous expectations (everything you hoped for before).
2. Assess your current situation.
3. Indicate point by point what you expect (what you would like) from the future.
4. Determine for yourself whether it is possible to adjust your hopes and change your current and future situation. Pay special attention to those changes that you really can do.
5. Discuss these proposed changes with a good friend.
6. Count down 30 days in your calendar and write down day by day what goals you set for yourself:
   • write to yourself for tomorrow: “Work with full effort”;
   • write to yourself for the day after tomorrow: “Selflessly believe in the achievability of your goal”;
   • write to yourself on the third day: “Instantly identify the necessary components of success”;
   • write to yourself on the fourth day: “Act decisively and creatively”;
   • write these same words in the order in which it seems most reasonable to you, for all the other days of this month.
7. Make it happen. If, in your opinion, you need additional strength and resources to accomplish what you have planned, contact a psychologist, he can help you mobilize the conscious and unconscious resources of your psyche (special techniques have been developed for this in psychology).

What can a person do who wants to free himself from negative emotions, from manifestations of the Victim (according to the advice of practical psychologist N. Kozlov):

1. You need to know that a dull face and stooped posture not only reflect a person’s mood, but also actively shape this dull mood. But while you have not bent physically, you have not bent mentally. So straighten up, raise your head. There is a wonderful image in yoga: “Imagine that you have a small hook on your crown, by which someone is constantly pulling you up.” Feel this, and you will always have a straight neck, a proud head, walking will become easier, and despondency will evaporate.
2. Learn to relax. A completely relaxed person “erases” all negative emotions. Master auto-training and relaxation.
3. Smile. With a serious facial expression, 17 muscles are tense, and with a smile - 7. Physiologically, laughter is a vibration and massage that relieves tension. A sincere smile lifts the mood of you and those around you. Look for reasons for it, provoke a smile and smile in your soul.
4. You should know that behind a bad mood, uncertainty, pointless anxiety and fear, there are, as a rule, externally invisible tensions in the larynx, pharynx, diaphragm and abdominals. You can't relieve this by directly relaxing the muscles, but special types of breathing can help. For example, to free yourself from fear, anger, anxiety and other emotions, do “dog breathing” - fast, shallow, through the throat, through the mouth. A few minutes of such breathing - and unnecessary emotions are reset. If this is not enough, you need to add “inhalation vibrations”. Breathe according to the yoga system, then hold the air as you inhale and move your diaphragm back and forth several (up to 10) times. This is how the internal organs are massaged and tension is relieved where relaxation cannot otherwise be achieved.
5. You should know that our illnesses, depression, and life mistakes are caused by unconscious complexes, psychological traumas that we once repressed from consciousness into our unconscious. These “abscesses of our psyche” gradually poison our lives, and in order to get rid of them, we will need psychotherapeutic help. Methods of rebirthing and psychoanalysis allow us to improve our psyche, our body, and our lives.
6. Lead a healthy lifestyle. A tired and sick person can also keep himself in an optimal psychological state, but this is more difficult for him. A bad tooth can outweigh the most positive philosophy; but a singing body is also a good argument against many problems. More often than not, a healthy mind resides in a healthy body.
7. Learn to separate your Self from the state you are experiencing. A person immersed in his state cannot control himself. To manage something, you have to be “not-it.” Separate yourself from your emotions, understand that they and you are not the same thing. You and your resentment are two different entities: but only when you remember it. This is very practical: the next time you feel angry or offended, mentally remove yourself from yourself and look at your anger from the outside. Please note that you are not anger. And it will slowly fade away. Don’t even try to fix anything: just look at what’s happening to you and in you, notice, be aware of it. And everything that is necessary will happen on its own. No struggle. Unnecessary emotions will fade away.
8. Remember: the prepared wins. If you don't learn self-regulation in advance, don't practice it (even in small ways) every day, at a critical moment you will fail.
9. Don't allow yourself to get into a bad mood. Are you ready to get upset? Stop! First ask yourself: “Why experience bad things?” Try to find some advantages and benefits even in an unpleasant situation. There is no need to forget about the bad and difficult, but it is worth taking to heart not the dark, but the bright. Appreciate and rejoice in the bright things that exist in your life or in a given situation. Often a person simply knows about good things, remembers them, but not only sees bad things, but also actively experiences them. Is it possible the other way around? Not only is it possible, but it is necessary!
10. It’s a shame to react to little things! To avoid confusing little things with something else, calm down. Count to ten, catch your breath, try to distract yourself. If you can just go to bed, do so - “the morning is wiser than the evening.” Ask yourself: is the damage really bad? How would a calm, wise person evaluate what happened?
11. Don't worry, just take action. Your worries do not solve the problem. If there is the slightest chance to improve the situation, take it. Get busy. Sometimes circumstances are stronger than us, and we fail. Open your eyes to the worst and accept it. Can you live without it? What if you've never had this before? Is it possible to be happy in this situation? Tell yourself: “This happened.” What to do now, how to get out of the situation with the least losses? And do whatever you want. Action is one of the best ways to calm down. Do what you want, just don't be sour.
12. Before you try to attract the attention of others to yourself, learn to attract your attention to others, show a kind interest in people, try to understand the other person. And allow the other to be Other. Don't try to change him, even supposedly in his interests. Try not to influence - even with comments and advice, until you are asked to do so or until the question of life and death arises. “Live and let others live.” Of course, the assessments of others must be taken into account when they are trying to change you by expressing negative opinions about you, but you cannot become a slave to other people’s assessments; sometimes it is important to be able to calmly endure the negative or indifferent attitude of people towards you.
13. The success of personal self-improvement is more pronounced when an integrated approach is used:
    • Awareness of your psychological position, life scenario, early childhood experiences that determine the characteristics of your personality and behavior. Correction of these factors is possible based on psychological methods, which include: transactional analysis, psychoanalysis, rebirthing, gestalt therapy, self-analysis. The help of a psychologist or psychotherapist is extremely useful.
    • Rethinking your life philosophy, reassessing the situation, developing an action plan to transform it.
    • If changing this particular situation is impossible, you need to switch to other activities that are quite pleasant for you and give you a chance of success, or try to find advantages in the real state of affairs (“no matter what is done, everything is for the better”).
    • Eliminate or weaken negative emotions (method of separating one’s self and emotions; autogenic training with self-hypnosis formulas: “I am calm. My mood is improving. I am confident in my abilities. I am cheerful, energetic”),
    • Reduce muscle tension and tension (methods of relaxation, autogenic
    • training, self-hypnosis, rebirthing, meditation).
    • Neutralize “stress hormones” (physiological substances - hormones (adrenaline, norepinephrine, etc.) circulating in the human blood during and after stressful situations, failures, conflicts, emotional events and psychological trauma). The best way neutralization of hormones - feasible muscle, exercise stress: long walk, sports exercises, physical labor in the country or in the house.
14. Man is multidimensional, in any case, three facets are always present:
    • “an objective person”: what he really is;
    • “inner man”: how he sees himself, feels;
    • “outer man”: how he presents himself, what impression he makes. How will you be seen? The way you present yourself. You can paraphrase the well-known proverb: “You see off by your mind, but you meet by your clothes and demeanor.” Conduct yourself in such a way that people have reason to treat you with respect.
15. One person lives among people easily, without straining those around him and without tugging at himself, while the other suffers, suffers with amazing regularity and, most importantly, does the same to the people around him. What makes their lives so different? Perspectives on relationships with people that are taken as a basis and reproduced year after year. Different philosophies give different quality of life. Maybe the philosophy of life, the code of relationships between the man-Prince will seem more attractive to you than what you demonstrated before.

Relationship Code:

• I am free, I am not the property of my parents, relatives, or loved ones. I didn’t come into this world to live up to anyone’s expectations. But others don’t have to live up to my expectations. They are all free. No one - neither parents nor loved ones - is my property.
• Nobody owes me anything. If someone did something to me or said something good (at least tried to do it), I am grateful to him. If he didn’t do it, I won’t be offended by him. I try to do good deeds, but if I didn’t do something to someone (couldn’t or didn’t want to), I shouldn’t torment myself with guilt. Blaming and torturing yourself is just as stupid and immoral as torturing and blaming others.
• If we live nearby or do a common business, we owe each other only what we agreed on. If a person has failures or trouble, because of which he even let me down, he will not become guilty for me, but only a victim: after all, he did it unintentionally. If a person let me down because they didn't have my best interests at heart, that's upsetting; but, on the other hand, there are no people who are obliged to look after my interests; If I cause a scandal, I don't think they'll suddenly care about me any more after that. Scandals and insults are excluded for me.
• The one who deceived me, apparently, could not afford to be honest: he did not have enough strength or nobility for this. He is a beggar. So why condemn him? And if the deception is blatant, it means that this person lives by different rules of the game of life. I have the same reasons to despise him as he has me for my narrow-minded honesty or gullibility.
• If a loved one deceived me, perhaps I myself am to blame: after all, they usually lie to someone to whom it is dangerous to tell the truth. It is not the person who lies who is to blame, but the one who discourages a person from telling the truth. The person who left me in trouble probably had good reasons for this (no one wants to be a bastard), he has a thousand excuses - I’ll try to understand him.
• A mentally healthy person cannot be humiliated and insulted. It is everyone’s will to say something addressed to us, but our will is to accept it or not. If you don't need it or you have no reason to believe these people, why on earth would you let their words into your soul? What is said about you is either true or false. It is stupid to be offended by the truth, and doubly stupid to be offended by a lie. There are no cases when grievances are justified, and grievances would have meaning. It is always easy to answer the question “Why am I offended?”, but it is impossible to say: “Why am I doing this? What result will I actually get from this? And the result of our grievances can be zero or even negative.