Almost every man has cheated on his wife at least once in his life. If this has affected you, then don’t make the same mistakes as other women. Before you pack your bags, try to find out why your husband “went to the left”, but did not tell about his action. Maybe all this was spontaneous and did not mean anything to him at all? Today we will try to answer this question and give advice to wives on how to push their husbands to the wall in order to force him to admit to cheating. You will learn how to behave after consciousness in order to maintain your dignity.
- I'm sure his wife doesn't know anything. He continues to hide his relationship on the side, thinking that everything is fine.
- Faithful. Perhaps you just overcharged yourself. Is there irrefutable evidence of betrayal? “It seems to me” and “I feel” are not valid reasons.
- This is not serious. Maybe he just decided to diversify his life and is not going to leave his wife.
- There are children in the family. He doesn’t want to traumatize them, file for divorce, and wants to save the family. This is what caused this desire and... You will understand whether it is worth agreeing to this, how to save the marriage and live side by side with the traitor.
Knowing the reason will allow you to understand how to act to force him to confess everything. Our article about how to help you with this difficult matter will help you. We will dispel the myths that they are all the same, tell you who you can trust, and offer several ways to prevent infidelity.
How to pin a man against the wall - analyze his behavior
If thoughts about your husband’s betrayal come to you more and more often, start looking for evidence. The first thing you should look carefully at is external signs in behavior. A man can really cheat if:
- The work schedule has changed dramatically– delays at work, unexpected meetings with friends, urgent help to acquaintances.
- "Having your head in the clouds". He began to often get distracted by his phone, changed passwords, unexpectedly changed his appearance, and often preened himself.
- Termination of intimate life. Perhaps he has problems with potency, but it is possible that he simply lost interest in you.
- Heart to heart communication. We used to spend a lot of time together, send each other sweet text messages throughout the day, but now we don’t? Probably, the husband moved away, maybe even became close to another girl.
According to the observations of psychologists, men try not to admit what happened until the last moment. Therefore, here you need to connect your sixth sense and head. In another article we told. You can bring it to clean water, analyzing gestures and behavior.
What actions to take to force him to tell the truth
Try searching for evidence. If there are no irrefutable facts, tell your spouse to his face: “You are cheating on me!” - useless. Psychologically, the man will defend himself. He may lie, ask a counter question to make you feel guilty. Trying to justify his departure, the deceiver can deliberately provoke quarrels and scandals.
Irrefutable evidence will be:
- correspondence on social networks;
- SMS with appointments to your mistress, love messages;
- photos;
- calls.
Remember, the evidence must be such that it is impossible to deny, otherwise your husband will simply say that you are mistaken, making you look like a nervous hysterical woman.
If there is no evidence, then try to put pressure on your conscience. Tell him, for example, that he is such a good husband, devoted, faithful, you are sure that he will never betray or cheat. Look at his reaction. If he begins to make excuses and dodge, this may indicate his guilt, but he is unlikely to confess.
After traces of betrayal have actually been found, the spouse should be offered a serious conversation. Do not throw hysterics or scandals under any circumstances - this is even more repulsive, you have already lost a strong connection with your husband. You should tell everything you feel, without shouting, calmly. Create an environment of trust.
Another big mistake is that many women, having learned about the betrayal, begin to scream like crazy, calling their mistress a homewrecker, throwing mud in every possible way.
Here's why you shouldn't humiliate your opponent:
- The man will begin to instinctively protect his beloved from attacks, because he has already managed to create an emotional connection with her.
- Blaming a stranger for the destruction of a family is completely wrong. Although she consciously took this step, knowing that her lover was married, in the end it will be you who is the culprit in his eyes - you paid little attention, did not give freedom, you clung on like a tick.
- This way you will show him that you are in a lot of pain and care. And this is a mistake that can cost a relationship.
We recommend reading free book Alexey Chernozem "What to do with male infidelity." You will learn why men cheat and leave for their mistresses, how to react correctly to betrayal in order to preserve the relationship and prevent it from happening again in the future, and also how to survive all this.
The book is free. To download, click on this link, leave your e-mail and you will receive an email with a link to the pdf file.
After the conversation, a decision should be made about the future of the marriage. If you decide to separate, then let your spouse go, continue living together - take the path of “recovery”. Compose overall plan, how you will restore relationships together, again lay the foundation of trust and love. Try. Use several rules collected in our other article. The material on how to make the right decision will help you. There you will find all the pros and cons.
To get your husband to confess to cheating, try to catch him in the act, here is a video on how to do it:
Before you extract the truth from your husband, think about whether you want to know it; sometimes a sweet lie is better.
By nature, all men are polygamous, and not everyone has the strength and desire to resist temptations. For this reason, many families experience difficulties in relationships and even break long-term family ties. Very many men, wittingly or unwittingly, become hostages of such a situation when they have decided to go to the left, and do not want to destroy their family. What should a wise wife do in this situation - create a scandal, remain silent offendedly, or pretend that she doesn’t know anything? But how can you overcome the bitter resentment within yourself or cross out with one emotional act all that strong and good that was built together for many years and was called family? In order to make any fateful decisions, apparently, you should first understand the reasons that prompted your husband to take such an offensive step for you. But how can you force your husband to admit to cheating if he stubbornly remains silent about it?
Finding out the reason
Family life is hard joint work, during which spouses painstakingly build their relationships every day, getting used to and adapting to each other. And if you managed to create a good family, do not rush to destroy it. After all, history already knows many examples when a wife, who rashly threw a scandal and defiantly slammed the door, thereby freed her husband’s hands and was left without him. You can regret it a hundred times, but you can’t take back what you’ve done. Therefore, before taking decisive measures, it is necessary to carefully find out why he did this. Maybe everything happened so unexpectedly that it took him by surprise and he was unable to stop in time? Perhaps he regrets that he cheated, maybe he doesn’t regret it, but the fact that he keeps his betrayal a secret still shows that he values his wife and her peace of mind is dear to him.
Do you need the truth?
How to get your husband to admit to cheating? More on this later. But, trying to “split” your spouse into confession, first decide whether you need it? Do you want to know for sure that the betrayal took place, and hear it from his lips? If so, will you have the strength to survive this, understand your husband and forgive, or are you categorically determined to break off the relationship? For the most part, random “leftist” sexual stories mean nothing to men precisely because of the polygamous nature inherent in them, while a woman, as the keeper of the family hearth, is always on guard for the family and has a sharply negative attitude towards infidelity.
Passing fad
Let's try to impartially figure out why the husband does not admit to cheating. If some time has passed after you received a signal about your spouse’s infidelity, but your husband’s behavior remains exactly the same as always, this may indicate that this event did not leave a noticeable trace in his memory or that the event did not happen at all. There are many known cases when certain well-wishers interpret what they saw in their own way and present their conjectures as an already accomplished fact.
Say it all straight out!
There are many different ways to get your husband to admit to cheating. In reviews, women write that if you really want to make sure whether adultery has occurred, then use a sudden psychological attack. Its essence is as follows: reconnaissance in force. Tell him directly that he was seen with his mistress in a spicy situation, and carefully observe his reaction. The husband’s confusion and his feverish search for innocent excuses for this meeting will tell you that there was betrayal, but he does not attach any importance to it and does not want to ruin your relationship because of such an insignificant incident. If he did not lose his composure, remained calm and unperturbed, and was even surprised by your words, most likely your suspicions are unfounded or he is a deeply secret spy and well trained to manage feelings.
What to do with recognition?
But it may also happen that the husband admitted to cheating. What to do now with your exact knowledge? Without having any secrets in this matter, some kind of decision will have to be made. How to do this if you love your husband and would like to preserve the relationship by any means? At the same time, you will have to swallow your resentment and, perhaps, give the go-ahead to his further affairs if he understands how dear you are. It should be borne in mind that even if you try to forget about this incident and continue to live amicably and happily, from time to time you will remember this situation when your husband is late at work or asks to go fishing with friends. This worm of doubt will always generate distrust in his words and promises. Is knowing about cheating worth it? Maybe it’s better to leave everything at the stage of doubt? It’s easier to experience it psychologically: either it happened or it didn’t.
Signs
In this situation, psychologists advise not to act recklessly, but to pull yourself together and take a close look at how your husband behaves. There are some signs by which you can quite accurately understand whether your spouse is honest with you. For example, he began to stay late at work more often, explaining this as another emergency, he doesn’t have enough time for you - neither for affection, nor for simple attention, conversations with you on the phone have become shorter and drier, and there has been some cooling in the bedroom, or even complete calm - I’m tired at work, I just don’t have the strength.
Men with a different temperament, on the contrary, begin to pay increased attention to their spouse, bring her expensive gifts, pamper her in every possible way, or even present her with a long-term voucher to some prestigious resort. So they are trying, firstly, to make amends to you, and secondly, to avert any suspicion from themselves. But if the husband is silent and secretive all the time, often receives SMS messages and talks on the phone, while trying to be alone, this is a sufficient reason to be wary.
If you add to this constant dissatisfaction with your actions and questions, far-fetched reproaches begin, intensive updating of your wardrobe, self-admiration in the mirror, love for sports awakens, it’s time to ring the bell. Otherwise, traces of lipstick will soon appear on his clothes, the smell of someone else's perfume and lack of sex. And this is a reason to think about whether your family is so strong, whether it is worth continuing such a life together, full of omissions and lies. Maybe, instead of thinking about how to get your husband to admit to cheating, it’s better to let him go into a new relationship and part as good friends than to raise a scandal and tell your spouse about his meanness and your ruined life? And as a result, they still separate, but as enemies. Each such case is individual, and only you two can decide what to do in your situation.
Why does he hide the fact of betrayal?
However, first it is better to try to understand why the husband does not want to admit his infidelity. Psychologically, men hide this until the last moment, even if everything is already obvious. They staunchly defend themselves, preferring in this case to turn the arrows on their wife and make her a counter, even absurd, accusation of adultery. There have been many cases in the practice of psychologists when a husband forced his wife to confess to infidelity, trying to justify his infidelity and give it the status of revenge for his wife’s infidelity. This, as it were, reduces the degree of his guilt and shifts all responsibility for the current situation onto his wife as the source of the problem.
But how can you force your husband to admit to cheating if he is silent, although this fact is already undeniable and he has been presented with enough strong evidence that does not give him room to maneuver? Here we should note the features of male psychology that prevent him from admitting the obvious:
- for him this is stress, he is afraid to admit that he is a traitor, because he will have to give explanations for his action, which, as a rule, he does not have;
- he does not want to lose his family, not attaching importance to a one-time clouding of his mind, therefore, in this way he protects his family from collapse;
- he does not consider relationships on the side to be serious or significant in any way, these relationships will not harm the family, therefore he is not going to talk about them;
- he may worry about his children's opinion of himself if he admits to what he did;
- the husband may be crystal clear, and all these warnings are the machinations of ill-wishers.
As we see, men have their reasons, and in some cases their reaction is completely justified, and their guilt is excusable. So if you value your family and husband, think about peacefully resolving the conflict.
CONSPIRACY
But if you are determined to find an effective way to extract a confession, pay attention to other ways to force your husband to admit to cheating. Conspiracy is great folk remedy, with which you can achieve success in this matter. In practical magic there are many conspiracies that correspond to this situation.
What is the conspiracy to make the husband admit to cheating? You need to pour water into a bowl, light a candle and, holding it over the water, say the words: “Candle, melt, strange woman, show yourself.” If the wax, frozen on water, takes on the outline of a female figure or head, it means that infidelity is taking place.
Magic ritual
Another way to find out if your husband is cheating: cut a long strip from an A4 sheet of paper, write your name at the top, your husband’s below, and put a cross under it. Take your wedding ring and let it roll across the paper with the words: “Roll, my ring, point out your beloved heart.” A ring that falls on your name testifies to your husband’s fidelity; if it lands on the cross, the betrayal has taken place, and if it goes further, then it happened more than once.
Provocation
What to do if, despite everything, the husband does not admit to cheating? Advice from experienced people who have walked this path before can help you. For example, some of them recommend provocation.
The surest way to snatch a confession is provocation, when you provoke your husband with your direct conversations to explain the meeting that took place with another woman, which took place before your eyes or your good friends/acquaintances. His reaction will tell you a lot. You can also put pressure on his conscience, if he is a conscientious person, by telling him what a wonderful husband he is, faithful and caring, in contrast to some mutual acquaintance or even a fictional character - the husband of a mythical friend, who allegedly secretly cheats on her, a scoundrel. sort of. Watch the reaction.
Wiretapping
You can install a wiretap on his phone and track his correspondence, but if surveillance is detected, the husband may be legitimately offended, especially if he is clean. It’s easier to ask someone you know to send a love message to his number and observe his reaction and excuses about declaring his love from an unknown number. You can say that you know everything and file for divorce. The method is dangerous, because he can immediately give his consent.
Social media
You can also check your loyalty through social networks by registering under a different name and with someone else’s name. beautiful photo, ask your husband to be your friend and start a correspondence. You can learn a lot of interesting things about yourself, so think about it: do you need it? Organize a romantic dinner for him and carefully extract the information you are interested in. In any case, confession is not full-fledged evidence of betrayal; he may simply get angry and confirm your speculations or want to tease you and keep you on your toes. If you want to convict your husband, get ironclad evidence, otherwise he will lead you by the nose for a very long time.
What to do if traces of betrayal are found, but the husband does not admit to treason? The psychologist's advice sounds like this: when the masks are torn off, invite your husband to have a serious conversation, without hysterics and mutual accusations. Men, firstly, do not like hysterics, and secondly, they have the moral right to respond with hysteria and accusations. While you have not yet lost a strong connection, talk confidentially and find out all the existing aspects, as well as the moments accompanying the husband’s crime of the fatal trait. Do not humiliate your rival under any circumstances - insults addressed to her can throw your husband off balance and your confidential conversation will not take place. In general, depersonalize this woman, take her out of the conversation, focus your attention only on your relationships, feelings and desires. Demonstrate your agreement to work on those issues that pushed your husband away from you into the arms of another woman, and calmly tell him about your complaints against him.
Maybe such a frank conversation will lead to separation. But it will be peaceful and will not infringe on anyone’s dignity. But, most likely, the ending will be positive, and you will be able to get out of this delicate situation with honor, preserving your family and wonderful mutual feelings.
Male infidelity is somewhat different from female infidelity. If a woman has a lover, then this indicates emotional attachment or falling in love. In men, “going to the left” is often associated with simple physiology and the search for new sensations. Therefore, almost always the husband does not admit to cheating, because... he is satisfied with everything or he wants to save his family. But what should a woman do in such a situation? Is it worth exposing the traitor or leaving him to accept the situation for the sake of illusory happiness?
My husband won't admit to cheating: what should I do?
When a husband openly cheats, but stubbornly refuses to confess to his wife, even under the weight of the most significant evidence, then all that is required is to “catch the spouse in the act” with his mistress. But, before doing anything, you need to think very carefully and not make hasty decisions.It is impossible to give universal advice on how to force your husband to admit to cheating. Relationship psychology suggests asking the question differently, what to do and how to live with it?
- Can a wife live without her husband? Try for a few minutes to imagine that you have decided to get a divorce and live without a close man. How bad are you feeling? If life without a spouse seems impossible, then call him for a frank conversation, clarify what is not satisfactory in family life. Perhaps in this way you will be able to improve your relationship with your loved one. If a wife is not comfortable living in a treacherous relationship, she torments herself, suffers and believes that divorce is the only right way out, then maybe this is for the better? Very often, a breakup becomes a launching pad for a new and happy life.
- When a woman turns a blind eye to her husband’s outright infidelities, it eats her up from the inside, leading to depression and emotional breakdowns. A spouse can be a great father, breadwinner, and wonderful family man, which tips the scales in favor of continuing to live together. Such cases are not uncommon in society and no one has the right to condemn a woman, because it's just her life.
- The wife's silence about cheating gives the husband the unspoken right to continue cheating, thus, it is assumed that you have forgiven your loved one in advance. What often leads to a worsening situation is that the man knows about his own impunity and spends even more time “at work” or “fishing.”
It is impossible to force a man to admit to cheating. In the face of undeniable facts, the husband will deny and refuse, because... For a person, this state of affairs is either convenient, or saving the family is extremely important. In this situation, there is little that can be done; only a woman can independently make the right decision.
If, after a frank conversation with the spouse, it was not possible to achieve a result, and the husband was offended, then the situation means absolutely nothing, the man can pretend that he was affected by his wife’s words. Therefore, if the betrayal is not recognized, we can only advise catching the deceiver red-handed, which is very difficult.
Scandals, tears or hysterics will not help. Psychologists often advise trying to distance yourself from the situation and think about what will happen if the woman leaves? What if it remains? It is necessary to simulate both scenarios. Imagine which solution would be more comfortable. After all, sometimes it is very difficult and almost impossible to imagine your own life without a loved one, but sometimes it is even more difficult with a husband who does not hide his love affairs.
Searching for an answer to the question of how to get your husband to admit to cheating can lead you into a state of even greater instability than the one in which you are already, having suspected adultery. It is especially dangerous in such situations to read thematic forums - there are mainly stories of whiners and losers. But you are a self-sufficient, serious person who had a small mistake.
We force our husband to admit to cheating
If you want to make sure that your speculation about betrayal is not in vain, try several options on how you can find out the truth.
- First, probe the waters regarding his attitude towards betrayal. You can start an innocent conversation on the topic of how he would behave if you cheated. Look at your partner's reaction - a person who has something to hide will give himself away in any case. Not in words, but in facial expressions.
- If you are sure that there is an affair on the side, ask your husband about it directly. Just not with reproach or attack in your voice, but casually and even sympathetically. Maybe the man will understand that throwing rolling pins and frying pans does not threaten him, and he will tell the truth.
- You can escalate the situation to the limit, every now and then giving him a reason to understand that you know everything. But this method of getting your husband to admit to cheating makes sense only when you no longer need this relationship.
Force him to admit to cheating or change himself?
In most cases, cheating is an indicator Low quality relationships in a couple. You take care of his children, wash, wash, dress. But this is taken for granted by most men. However, if at the same time you do not take care of yourself, do not pay enough attention to your husband in terms of intimacy, these are already aggravating circumstances for him in living with you.
- Agree with your spouse immediately on the division of responsibilities, so that later there will be no problems with allocating time for both yourself and your dearest one.
- As for cheating, think first of all not about how to get your husband to admit to cheating, but how to then live with this confession.
- Until the wife herself wants it, the man will not leave the family.
- It's easy to destroy, but difficult to put back together brick by brick.
Maybe you don’t need this truth? Have a heart-to-heart talk with your husband and decide together to start over with a clean slate.
Treason is always unpleasant for both marriage partners.
Is it worth bringing a suspect in an affair out into the open and how to behave if you yourself have gone wrong and are tormented by a feeling of guilt?
There are no universal answers: In each family, spouses must independently decide how their relationship will develop after the fall of one of them. How to force a husband or wife to admit to cheating?
How to make a wife love her husband again? Find out about this from ours.
Why did thoughts of infidelity arise?
If you are not a hysterical person, accustomed to inflating “elephants from fruit flies,” then the thought of the infidelity of your significant other may suggest unusual real nuances in her behavior.
The most common “deviations”:
Family is your personal fortress. Even if it’s not necessary to immediately tell your friends and relatives about your problems.
Everything they can generate in response: sympathy, pity, a lot of negativity towards the suspect, advice of various kinds - you don’t need this unless you are going to revel in the role of the unfortunate victim.
Please note that having “snatched” a confession, you may be presented with a fait accompli the need to plunder relationships with your significant other. If such an outcome is undesirable for you, do not begin the interrogation.
Analyze yourself what caused the current problem. And, if you can, correct the situation in your favor.
It is possible that the man does not have the conditions at home to reveal his potential, and the mistress is not only a comforter of the flesh, but also of the spirit. You will always have time to wave the “I know everything” transport.
Male infidelity - confess to your wife, leave or stay? What to do:
How to make your husband fall in love with you again? will help you!
How to force a traitor to confess to spree?
Husband or boyfriend cheating, but won't admit it? If the husband I was already thinking about divorce, then the confession will probably be made after the first “I am aware of the betrayal.” The offense will be denied only if it:
You'll drive him into a corner, If:
- Show me a photo where he and his crush are clearly not meeting for business negotiations. For example, a romantic coffee or club is not the place to decide the fate of the next deal.
- You can show SMS communication with a friend on the side.
- Show screenshots of a photo with a lady and love correspondence on a social network.
- Appear personally to the couple when they decide to retire.
Of course, to collect such facts you will have to retrain as a detective or hire one.
And if for the latter this is a paid job, then for you this is an activity may seem humiliating. Whether it's worth doing is up to you to decide.
How to get your wife to talk about her infidelity?
Women are more emotional than men, so many can confess even without presenting real facts, If:
Do I have to admit to cheating? Points for and against":
Do you need to confess yourself?
There is no universal answer in such circumstances. Yes, moral standards require honest relationships with partners. But real life is far from the standard rules and you need to show wisdom at least after the betrayal has occurred, so that one mistake does not become fatal for you and your environment.
If the betrayal was an accident, a one-time consequence of too much alcohol, then perhaps you shouldn’t give up and confess.
Deceiving your significant other is very bad, but destroying a family with a wonderful relationship is stupid - voicing a crime can make you strangers forever. And you're not going to repeat yourself, are you?
Definitely yes, if you are both balanced people whose relationship has simply outlived its usefulness, and there is no point in continuing to live together.
But a confession must be made in the most correct form.
In other cases, first understand for yourself what a frank conversation on this topic will give you.
Perhaps, if you are completely honest with yourself, deep down you dream of annoying your partner for his imaginary or real offense. But is cheating a logical way to sort out the relationship between two mature individuals?
Is it difficult for you to carry this burden alone, are you torn by your conscience? Well, this is a completely normal price for what you have done - have the courage not to ruin the lives of others.
Is truth necessary in relationships? Psychologist's opinion:
How to do this correctly?
How to admit cheating on your spouse or girlfriend?
- Without insulting her feminine dignity. Even if they committed treason consciously, taking revenge for something.
- Without the presence of strangers. In this situation, everyone is like that except you two. The fact of participating in the unpleasant conversation of other people reduces the chances that a woman will ever find reasons for.
- Be mentally prepared for an avalanche of unflattering statements directed at you.
In some cases, a small performance with falling to one's knees, begging for forgiveness and terrible vows can help save a marriage.
In the end, your soul mate deserves to be in a royal role, when it is purely up to her to decide whether to “execute” you or “have mercy.”
A prerequisite: there should be no witnesses to the showdown - everything that happens is purely your own business.
How can a woman admit to having an affair?
- Soberly assessing the risks. Alas, a man can lose his nerve, and given that most husbands are physically stronger than a woman, the consequences can be not only humiliating for both, but also life-threatening.
- Without humiliating your husband or boyfriend. This is an easily fulfilled condition if you had a good relationship, and the relationship on the side was a random affair under the influence of circumstances.
- Making sure that the conversation is just between you two.
Should I tell my husband about cheating or remain silent? Recommendations:
When is it worth keeping everything a secret?
When You can’t admit to cheating?
If you think about it, then in the betrayal of one of the spouses Often both are to blame. The exception is clinical cases when one of the partners carefully hid his love for affairs before marriage and did not stop the spree after the relationship was formalized.
Therefore, if there is no way to figure out on your own how you got to this situation, consult a psychologist. He will help you get over what happened and, perhaps, show the family the path.
Should I admit to cheating? Find out in this video: