Without being embarrassed by others. Where does shyness come from? Why do people become shy

Many of us judge liberated, self-confident people, although in fact we want to be like them. This is not surprising, since such individuals strive to become the soul of the company, they charge you with energy and leave a piece of themselves after leaving. On the other hand, people who are not shy appear self-confident and arrogant. One way or another, to overcome shyness, you need to study all aspects and make a competent plan. Let's talk about everything in order.

Reasons for shyness

People become shy when they spend a lot of time alone. The inability to communicate socially is caused by a lack of basic communication skills.
The genetic factor also contributed. If a child grows up in a family with shy parents, this feature will be transferred automatically.
People who are unsure of their abilities are often shy. This happens due to constant criticism from others or low self-esteem imposed by the subconscious.
Fear of communicating with others and, as a result, isolation arises due to the psychological trauma experienced. A person tries to protect himself from future losses, so he becomes shy.
If a child lives in a family that regularly criticizes and humiliates him, the child will automatically grow up withdrawn. The same applies to children living in constant prohibitions.
There are people who are afraid of “falling on their face.” This is due to public censure; a person does not want to be rejected by colleagues, friends, relatives and even strangers.
Stereotypes influence the formation of life principles. If a child is constantly praised and has high expectations, he will try to do everything so as not to destroy the illusion. Such a person is afraid to express his thoughts in the future.

How to get rid of shyness

It should be remembered that isolation is not a vice. Young girls are much more attractive when they have a blush on their cheeks and a slightly trembling voice. However, if such a feature prevents you from fully existing, you need to get rid of it.

Method number 1. Chat with strangers

In most cases, people become shy well in advance of interacting with strangers. Such behavior is wrong, because you cannot baptize your children with these people.
Accept invitations from friends to attend all kinds of parties, concerts, and cinemas. Make it a habit to meet at least 2 new people a month.
At first, you can smooth things out by making friends through social networks. Start with VKontakte or Odnoklassniki, then make an appointment yourself when you're ready.
Go out into the world more often. Visit crowded cafes and restaurants, crowded places. Stand in line, pay utilities, communicate.
Engage in solving pressing issues on your own. This applies more to visiting authorities and other serious offices (passport office, housing and communal services, tax office, etc.).

Method number 2. Find new friends

Visit social groups or join forums where people share their doubts. Find someone who has the same problem. Discuss the topic with him: “How to overcome shyness.”
It is also recommended to find a person using the “nasty” method. It is important that a new acquaintance does not have complexes and shyness. Such a person will constantly pull you out of your comfort zone. This will promote emancipation.
Every person comes into your life for a reason. Choose your social circle so that it includes people from all social groups. Of course, you shouldn’t get involved in crime.
If possible, communicate only with successful people. Create an idol for yourself, follow his path. Don't be afraid of your own mistakes, they are required for experience.

Method No. 3. Do daring things

Analyze your life. Highlight actions that you could not decide on for a long time. Have you been planning to jump with a rope or parachute for a long time? Go for it!
Regardless of whether you are a man or a woman, take a closer look at motorized vehicles. People on two-wheeled iron horses look bold and confident. Study for category “A”, buy a sports bike and equipment.
Actions that can overcome shyness include participation in television programs (in particular extras), beauty contests and others. public speaking. Expressing your thoughts to the public will liberate you, the main thing is to prepare thoroughly.
If you're a girl, wear an extravagant petite top or high heels. Reconsider your image, dye your hair a bright shade. Visit a fetish party, attend a charity event, or become a volunteer.
People who have long-term sympathy for the opposite sex should ask the person on a date. Take courage and dare, live for today.
In all of these actions, it is important to know when to stop. Don’t jump right off the bat, think about your own safety and morale. Don’t run into trouble, carefully plan and predict all your actions.

Method number 4. Gain confidence in yourself

In most cases, people become shy due to complexes that appear over the years or stem from childhood. To get rid of shyness, it is necessary to eliminate uncertainty in all possible ways.
If you don't feel comfortable because the weight class is over the top, go for it. Join the gym, get rid of cellulite, go on a diet. Buy clothes that hide imperfections.
Reconsider your image. Get a new haircut, change your hair color, go for a manicure and pedicure. Take a make-up course, find “your” cosmetics, and don’t go out without makeup.
Get rid of the "junk". This includes old clothes with pilling and elongated knees, shabby shoes and bags, old jackets. Replace every discarded item with a new, more stylish and unusual one.
Assess your capabilities regarding your current profession, develop in your career, and increase your earnings. Try to communicate with people who have already achieved heights. Find out their secrets of success and share your own experience.
Love motivates you to do more, find a gentleman or life partner. Dress up for the sake of your loved one, make each other happy. A stable personal life adds confidence.

Method No. 5. Describe yourself

Prepare a notebook and write down your positive aspects in it. Be sure to check not only about mental and physical abilities, but also external data.
For example, you can write that you are positive, brave, successful. It is advisable to clarify the ability to achieve goals and objectives, responsive character, kindness.
If you are experiencing difficulties regarding your characteristics, contact your relatives or friends. Draw up a psychological portrait together.
You need to indicate as much as possible positive qualities. Number them for clarity. Hang the list on the refrigerator or bathroom mirror. Re-read every morning and believe in what you wrote.
It is important to remember forever that a person is made up of his own thoughts and beliefs. Think about yourself in a positive way, never doubt your own capabilities.

Method number 6. Develop materially and spiritually

In the near future, you need to communicate more with diverse people. This method will improve your communication skills and relieve you of shyness.
To become an interesting conversationalist, develop spiritually. Read books, attend seminars on personal growth. Study your social circle, remove those who drag you down.
Money plays a big role in the modern world. People who say otherwise are deeply mistaken. With the help of finances, you can provide yourself with a decent life, travel, and be confident in the future.
Isn't this what eradicates shyness?! Look for a more profitable profession or ways to earn additional income. Never stop. Make it a habit to raise your salary by at least 10% per month. At the same time, learn to postpone.
If you don't yet know what you want to become, it's time to correct the situation. Analyze what you are most drawn to. Perhaps to mathematics, art or other creativity? Do you like to work with your hands or your head? Mold yourself based on this.

Method No. 7. Play sports

Decent physical fitness improves self-esteem and morale. Many people visit gyms, so it is often impossible to do without contact with them. Don’t be shy, ask how to use certain exercise machines. Look for new acquaintances.
Agree with your friends that you will lose 5 kg. and pump up your buttocks, abs, and arms. Limit yourself to specific limits. Start running, jumping rope, squats.
You don’t have to spend exorbitant amounts of money on a subscription. Enjoy summer and winter sports without spending your hard earned money.
If you still decide to visit specific sections, consider Pilates, water aerobics, stretching, yoga, dancing of all types, kickboxing, cross-fit.
In clubs you will be taught to behave in a relaxed manner. The trainer will tell you how to get rid of shyness and will do everything to ensure that you achieve your goals. Particularly shy people should contact a professional instructor in a particular sport.

Method No. 8. Make your loved ones happy

Learn to give joy to your relatives and close friends. In return, they will show you gratitude and give you compliments. In this simple way, you will gain confidence and stop doubting yourself.
Stop conflicts, do not harbor anger and resentment. They will eat you from the inside. Communicate with people politely, give tenderness and love to those who deserve it.
For your own peace of mind, keep a calendar. Indicate in it significant dates, birthdays of your friends and relatives. It is important to understand that without social communication a person fades.

Identify the causes of shyness and eradicate them in a short time. Constantly work on yourself, don't stop there. Find passive income, climb the career ladder. Reconsider your wardrobe and your overall image. Play sports, look for new circles of acquaintances, travel. Take the initiative in communicating with friends, improve your personal life, make your loved ones happy.

Video: how to stop being shy

Many people are familiar with the feeling when it is difficult to talk to a stranger or do something completely ordinary, but in front of everyone. It seems that everyone is looking with judgment or ridicule, and a barrage of criticism is about to fall. Shyness - which prevents you from leading a normal life, fetters your arms and legs and makes you feel inferior. However, not everything is so simple with this condition, which makes you blush or turn pale and once again step aside.

If we rely on the official definition, then shyness is timid bashfulness, shyness and extreme, sometimes painful caution in words and actions. In most cases, shyness is closely related to self-doubt and deep personal complexes.

At the same time, it cannot be said that this is just a cute and harmless eccentricity. In fact, shyness is a serious personal problem that can destroy a person’s life, deprive him of the opportunity to succeed, find a normal job and arrange his personal life.

Many people have experienced shyness and tried to cope with it in different ways. For some it was easier, for others it was harder, but there are also those who lost in this battle. Victims of shyness are quite socialized, because it is not a disease, but just a character trait. But not all character traits can be changed or overcome.

Fears of a shy person

He has many fears, and it depends only on his sincerity to himself whether he recognizes it as fear or prefers the wording “reasonable fears.” You can be afraid of anything: putting on a bright T-shirt, changing your hairstyle, replacing glasses with contact lenses, meeting a person of the opposite sex... Shy people do not sing in karaoke bars, do not go to nightclubs and are unlikely to become regulars at an ordinary youth party. If you see someone in a group who is trying to pretend to be invisible, that is him, the shy person. The word “shyness” itself is very expressive in structure. The personality is behind the wall. A person withdraws and goes on the defensive, believing that whoever is not seen will not be attacked.

Before awareness of the problem occurs, a shy person does not even ask the question of how to overcome shyness. On the contrary, this character trait is perceived as protective armor. Not to provoke something that is sure to cause strong emotional experiences - this is the main task of shyness. And even if this tool does not work or helps only partially, it is familiar and convenient. It is very difficult to get rid of it.

Is shyness modesty or cowardice?

When we talk about fears associated with shyness, another definition logically comes up - cowardice. Perhaps this is another factor that depresses painfully shy people; they consider themselves cowardly, but we should not forget that this definition is traditionally associated with condemnation, censure and is not justified by any circumstances.

If we select synonyms for the word “shyness,” then cowardice should probably be excluded from the list. This is an incorrect comparison of two apparently similar conditions. More appropriate synonyms are excessive modesty, shyness, awkward timidity. But what about cowardice?

Many shy people are quite capable of heroic deeds, of true courage. These are the fruits of a complex process in which a timid person makes a universal effort not to succumb to his weakness to such an extent that he forbids himself to leave the house at all. Even if the result is invisible to others, these efforts cannot be devalued.

Painful shyness

There are different degrees of shyness, and it is quite possible to live with some manifestations of this and even make friends. However, painful shyness, which is accompanied by psychosomatic manifestations, becomes a difficult ordeal. This is the very case when personal efforts are clearly not enough, you need to contact a specialist. This is precisely the problem.

A shy person finds himself in a vicious circle, because only a good psychologist can help in such a state, but shyness prevents him from turning to a specialist for help. A psychologist will be able to provide qualified assistance, identify the causes of shyness and quietly push the patient along the path of recovery and psychological comfort.

If shyness has developed so much that it prevents you from turning to a psychologist or at least asking for help from friends or family, then we are talking about a painful form. Ordinary timidity manifests itself in a milder form, but if socialization is already close to zero, then measures need to be taken. It is difficult to get out of such a state alone, although there is also a possibility of a favorable outcome.

Psychosomatic manifestations

If we consider timidity as a psychological problem, and not as a reprehensible defect, then we can get rid of one of the main reasons for this phenomenon. Getting rid of judgment is half the solution to the problem that is shyness. In psychology, this is considered one of the fundamental techniques when a value judgment addressed to a patient is absolutely unacceptable. However, in addition to psychological problems, a painfully shy person also has more pressing ones, namely psychosomatics.

If, due to shyness, profuse sweating, tremors of the limbs, disorientation in space and breathing problems begin, then we are talking about serious psychosomatic signals. Of course, it is worth ruling out the presence of a physical disease that gives the above symptoms, but everything in the body is interconnected. No wonder they say that all diseases are caused by nerves.

Psychosomatic manifestations block the path to salvation from timidity, and they must be fought to the best of one’s strength and ability. If the psychologist is unable to provide assistance, then the next step will be a referral to a psychiatrist who will prescribe a mild sedative. Of course, this dulls attention, but it also prevents you from worrying too much.

Shyness as a symptom

It is worth clearly distinguishing timidity, born of childhood psychological trauma or other negative phenomena, and psychiatric symptoms. Sometimes painful or even exaggerated shyness is a symptom of a disease that can be corrected with medication. You can spend a lot of time and energy on personal growth training, meditation and other practices aimed at achieving balance, but if along the way you experience symptoms such as impaired thinking, all kinds of manic and depressive states, and suspicion, then this should not be ignored.

When Shyness Attacks

Sometimes we have to admit that severe shyness is a disease, despite the absence of such a diagnosis in medical practice. If a person is at first embarrassed to smile at another person or timid when approached by a representative of the opposite sex, and then reaches voluntary self-isolation, then we are talking about a powerful attack from a personal problem.

Shyness can sometimes grow to unimaginable proportions, when it already becomes absurd. In order to prevent this manifestation of timidity, which is destructive for the personality, it is advisable to fight the disadvantage to the best of your ability and ability.

Reasons for Shyness

First of all, it is worth understanding the reasons that led to such a character trait. There are no innately shy people; it is an acquired trait. However, young children often exhibit charming timidity. Shyness in children is a kind of unconscious defensive reaction to everything new, unfamiliar and potentially dangerous. Someone else's aunt hands her candy, and the baby smiles timidly and hides behind her mother. What's happening?

A large alien creature with an unknown purpose seeks to violate the child’s personal space. At the same time, he tries to seduce him with a treat. If the mother at the same time shows anxiety or aggression, then on a subconscious level the correctness of such a reaction may become entrenched in the child - contact with strangers is dangerous. But open aggression is also dangerous, so the defenseless creature adopts the tactics of a fawn abandoned by its mother - it tries to become invisible. If you can’t become invisible, then you need to convince the potential predator that this creature is not a trophy of value, but something completely unworthy of attention.

Subsequently, this pattern of behavior can be reinforced through contacts with unfriendly peers - children are cruel. And if parents do not provide support to the child and do not give a feeling of security, then difficulties in the future are quite likely.

Fighting shyness

The most important thing in the battle with shyness is acceptance of the problem, plus the first steps. It is worth reconsidering your attitude towards failures - mistakes are inevitable, and they are just testing to debug your loose self-esteem. How to get rid of shyness? It's probably worth mentioning first what not to do, this will help significantly reduce the number of failures.

You can’t humiliate yourself and scold yourself. Any person who bravely enters into combat with his psychological problem is well done by default. The internal censor, which is invisibly present in every shy person, must be silent.

There are many ways to get rid of shyness: the already mentioned psychologist, a radical change of team, the support of like-minded people. Shy friends have friends too, and their support is extremely important, especially since shy people have difficulty forming friendships and there are few of them. There are known cases of getting rid of shyness when joining a fundamentally different team. Yoga, dancing, hiking, or even kayaking - anything is suitable when looking for people of a different formation. You can get out of the vicious circle, the main thing is not to give up.

Undesirable extreme

If a person painfully searches for a way, he can go to the other extreme. Find someone even more timid and assert yourself at his expense. Become a censor, persecutor and executioner for another person. Yesterday's shy and clumsy eccentrics may well become cruel initiators of bullying. However, this will not solve the problem - half of the aggressors are typical timid losers who are mortally afraid of being in the victim’s place. It is impossible to overcome shyness in this way; it is just overcompensation, a gesture of despair, and it has a destructive effect on the psyche.

Shyness is not a death sentence

Is it really necessary to get rid of shyness and rush to the other extreme - create an image of a successful person, turn on acting, spend hours rehearsing in front of the mirror for a dazzling Hollywood smile? When thinking about how to get rid of shyness, you can choose a convenient mask under which to remain just as unhappy, but sooner or later any disguise stops working.

Many shy people are charming because of their shyness. In our time, the fighting spirit that only a few could be proud of before has become a banality. It is quite possible to learn to live with shyness by building your own comfort zone, into which troubles from the outside are not allowed. The main thing is not to slip into self-isolation.

Ask yourself these questions. Find out for yourself:

Why are you shy?
What is the reason that you cannot let go and fully express yourself now?

The answer is obvious:

You care about what others think of you.
Other people's opinions force you to adapt to society.
The opinions of others limit and constrain you; because of it, you do not know how to become relaxed in communication and be yourself.

Answer these questions to overcome shyness

Understand that if you care about other people's opinions, you will be the one who always reacts to others and depends on others.

Reality will be dictated to you, and you will adapt to people.

Ask yourself:

Do you need this kind of life?
Do you want to forever be the one who is afraid of other people's opinions and limits himself in everything?
What will this give you if you continue to be shy?
Will this help you in any way?
What do I need to do to be free from everything limiting?

If, for example, you are a guy and don’t know how to stop being shy about girls, then take a pencil and paper and answer these questions to yourself in writing. Do the analysis.

You limit yourself and attach importance to other people's opinions

Ask yourself:

“Who is the one who is stopping you from becoming a more liberated person?”

Answer– « You yourself!»

Don't play the role of the little man

You're the one who gave too much weight to someone else's opinion.
It was you who decided to become shy.
Everyone plays roles without realizing that they are roles.
It was you who chose to play the role of a pathetic person.
You yourself want to believe in the importance of someone else’s opinion - this is their power.

Don't ask people for permission to be that person.

Don’t ask people for permission to be that confident and free person.

Allow yourself to be it!

It's time to stop taking information second-hand and start thinking for yourself.

These are only your actions and zero actions from life.

What you need to do and realize:

There will always be people who hate you

There will always be those people who hate you and who is angry with you.

There will always be those who don't like you.

It's not even worth wasting your time on such people.

I would rather do what I do and have fun than sit and discuss behind the back of a person going towards his goal.

Advanced analysis: is what is bothering you real?

Ask yourself questions:

Answers:

It's your insecurity.
Exaggerated fears.
Fear of public opinion.
Thoughts.
Parenting.
Social programming.

It's up to you to choose whether to believe in limitations or not.

TYou choose: either believe into what society and your parents instilled in you, or not.

Be beyond the social matrix.

You create your own world

The whole world is your movie, your world, your reality. Society and its opinions are outside your reality.

You choose your environment, not the other way around.

Give up thoughts about the future and expectations that someone will help you or tell you how to open up in communication with people and solve your problems.

Who will help you is yourself! You are the generator of your own actions.

All you can lose is your own lack of freedom

What happens if you:

will you act in a way that is not accepted by society?
Will you seem like a fool in the eyes of others?
if they point a finger at you?
what if they refuse you?

Answer: « NOTHING will happen!»

And even more: you will lose your old limiting beliefs!

You want it ⇒ you do it ⇒ you get it.

You're being bothered by something that doesn't exist, or by yourself

All the limitations that your mind creates - they don't exist!

Abuse, negativity, disapproval, evil and other rubbish. Everything that prevents you from turning your ideas into reality, focusing on action and becoming relaxed in communication - none of this exists.

Get out of the herd mentality.

It turns out that what prevents you from stopping being shy and modest is either yourself or something that does not exist.

Don't believe in something that doesn't exist. Believe in yourself.

There are no restrictions.

Video “The guy does what he wants”

In the next video, the liberated Internet star dances to “gangam style” with a naked torso in the metropolis, and he does a great job. In my opinion, from birth he never had problems with how to overcome shyness and self-doubt and never asked these questions.

Important awareness: how not to depend on other people's opinions

This is the key! This is what the most important understanding where people fail.

Don't be fueled by good reactions! Absolutely! DO NOT let the praise get to you! Don’t let anything external dictate and paint your personality, even if it’s good words of praise about you. You should not receive anything from the outside to confirm your confidence! Simply put: you don’t need people to validate your worth!

This is where dependence on other people's bad reactions to you comes from.

This is where it starts dependence on other people's opinions.

Reaction to praise, someone else's approval = Reaction to someone else's curse, condemnation, disapproval

Remember the following realizations and beliefs:

Remember and learn! And no one can touch you anymore!

Express yourself fully, don't be afraid to be yourself

When there is an understanding that what hinders you and limits you does not exist, then All you have to do is overcome all these little things.

Express yourself fully and do not hold back any words or emotions.
If you want to laugh, laugh.
If you want to dance, dance. If you want to leave, leave.
Don't filter the words, let them flow.
Don't be afraid to be louder with your words, express yourself fully, and be a visible person.

All this will give you a good feeling and help you overcome shyness.

The more you do this, the more your self-expression and your own presentation in communication becomes stronger.

Everything you lose if you become free, so this is your own lack of freedom.

There are no mistakes: no matter what happens, everything leads you to success

Don't be afraid to make mistakes, because there are none.

You can't make a mistake. Change your perception!

It is illusory to think that a mistake is when they point fingers at you or discuss you. It's not a mistake.

The real mistake is when you are afraid to be yourself and don’t allow yourself to say what you want because you attach importance to other people’s opinions. This scam.

Do what you're scared of

Always do what you're scared of! The first four attempts will be awkward, but by the fifth you will get used to it. By the tenth you will forget.

Otherwise, if you keep everything to yourself and remain shy, you close yourself off from communication. You will be reserved and not open to people.

When do people usually start to change?

You will realize how to get rid of shyness and shyness exactly when you understand that there is no point in postponing and the time has come to change.
When this is the very thing for you that needs to be done first.
You will get rid of everything that bothers you when it becomes the most important thing in life for you, and you will no longer be able to remain idle and procrastinate.
You will understand that you need to stop being shy and blushing over nonsense right now and not a moment later.

Video "Crazy Guy"

In the following video, fearless guy Remy takes to the playing field and sports fields during live broadcasts and skillfully impersonates a team player.

A football team in the French top league wins the cup and Remy manages to sneak onto the field in the form of a club player and lightheartedly celebrate the triumph with the official players. They even take him for one of their own, and no one suspects anything. Remy is not embarrassed or stopped by anything, because he knows everything about how to stop being shy and not worry about other people's opinions.

Very interesting and funny video.

How to dance in a club for a guy, 3 videos of guys who dance wherever they want - .

Important Reminder

If you do some crazy things in society, always know when to stop.

Always know how to stop in time!

Don’t cross the line of people’s patience, know how to calibrate!

Don't act too unnecessarily inappropriate, otherwise you might end up in trouble. There is no need to scare people.

Understanding and awareness is enough to solve all problems

You don't have to do all these crazy things to become free from other people's opinions.

The understandings that I wrote in this article are enough.

It was understanding that first of all allowed me to let go of all the pain, forget about the opinions of others, find myself and go my own way.

Now you know everything about how to stop being shy around people, be free and fully express yourself. Good luck!

Shyness is a feeling of discomfort in a social environment that prevents us from achieving personal and social goals. You're shy? Does your heart flutter just at the thought of talking to a stranger? This is common as shyness is a very common problem. As with any undesirable trait, shyness can be managed with the right approach.

Steps

Part 1

How to believe in yourself

Determine the essence and reason for the desired changes. Are you worried about your lack of communication skills? Are you unable to conduct superficial conversations, show feelings, are there frequent awkward pauses in your speech or other practical problems? Perhaps you have mastered your communication skills, but want to forget about the constant feeling of awkwardness and doubt.

Think about how much you want to change. Not everyone can become a socially active or sociable person. There is no need to waste energy on comparisons with others. You don't have to feel like you have to be like everyone else. This type of negative reinforcement will only make you believe that you are alone, different, or even worse than everyone else.

Change your way of thinking. People who feel awkward in social situations often have strings of negative thoughts. “I'll look stupid,” “No one will talk to me,” or “I'll look like an idiot” are all thoughts that can run in a vicious circle. As you yourself understand, such thoughts are negative and only increase your shyness and feeling of awkwardness.

Direct your attention outward, not inward. This is one of the most important aspects of shyness and social anxiety. Most timid people do this unintentionally, but they often start drawing attention to themselves during a conversation. As a result, the person is absorbed in himself and the vicious circle of thoughts begins again. The researchers concluded that this fact may be main reason panic attacks after moments of moderate anxiety.

Watch how confident people build social relationships. Imitation is one of the highest forms of flattery. Of course, you don't need to repeat every last detail, but follow social people to get useful ideas for different situations.
Contact a specialist if you cannot cope with the problem. In some situations, excessive shyness is a sign of social anxiety disorder. A person with this problem is so afraid of criticism and judgment from others that he has no friends or romantic partner.
- A professional can diagnose social anxiety disorder and help you develop a healthier mindset and gain confidence so you can stop avoiding people.
Part 2
How to communicate with strangers
1. Be willing to meet us halfway . Would you approach a person with a sour expression on his face or with his head down? Hardly. Our body language helps others make assumptions even before the conversation begins. Stop looking at your shoes, smile slightly and maintain eye contact.
  
  Show yourself. The best way meet new people - actively visit places where you can meet them. Go to the fall dance party at school or attend a New Year's corporate party. Try to meet at least one new person before the end of the evening. Attend a poetry club meeting and read poems you wrote as a student.
  
  Practice communicating. This may seem strange, but stand in front of a mirror or simply close your eyes. Imagine that you are talking to another person. Feeling prepared to have a conversation in an unfamiliar environment can help reduce anxiety. Imagine that your conversations are dialogues from films. Imagine yourself as a sociable person who finds a common language with others. Then move from rehearsals to action.
  
  Showcase your talents. By emphasizing your strengths, you will not only increase your confidence around other people, but you will also appear more attractive or interesting to talk to. For example, if you like painting, then try painting the scenery for a play. It is easier for a person to show his best qualities if he does not feel discomfort. Strive to connect with people who share your passions and enthusiasm. Just do what you love and have fun doing it to make new friends.
  
  Do it sincerely compliments . You don't need anything extraordinary. Sometimes the most exciting conversations begin with the phrase: “I like your shirt. May I ask, is it from (name of) store?” Compliments naturally form a pleasant impression of you, since your words lifted the person's mood. Even better, you're guaranteed to smile because complimenting others will make you feel good too.
  - If you know someone, call them by name when you compliment them. Be specific. Instead of saying, “You look great,” it’s better to say, “I love your new hairstyle. The shade matches your skin tone perfectly.”
  - Aim to give 3-5 compliments a day to different people you meet on the street and during your daily activities. Try not to compliment the same person twice. See how many conversations you can have, and how many times after the conversation you feel better than before you met.
2. Take small steps. Move forward in small, comfortable, discernible steps. Every time you will learn something new. Monitor your progress. Keep talking to strangers and try to find common ground. Celebrate small victories, even if you just managed to give a few compliments or successfully deal with negative thoughts.
- Try to take at least one step every week (or day). For example, if conversation comes easily to you, try having a long conversation every time you start talking to someone. One effective way is to ask questions.
- Some people are uncomfortable visiting places alone. Try going to the cinema alone. Is it possible to be shy in the dark? Other people in line will see that you have enough confidence to go to the cinema without company. Fake confidence until you feel it's real!
- If you need help, be upfront about it. If you remain silent, anxiety accumulates, and the problem remains unresolved.
- Talk to random people, even if you don't know each other. Be polite and you'll soon have a reputation for being very sociable!
- Play sports. This is a great way to meet new people, shed your shyness and show off your strengths.
- It's always nice to talk to friends and other people, but sometimes it's okay to just sit and listen. This is the only advantage of shyness. You are able to listen and understand what is happening.
- Watch your facial expressions. No need to frown or frown.
Warnings
- Striving to overcome shyness is a monumental task. Don't expect the situation to change overnight. Everything works a little differently. Be patient and remember: “Moscow was not built in a day.”
- Be yourself and don't let others put you down.

What is it like for shy people? It is difficult for them to believe in themselves and their strengths, they are undeservedly forgotten in cheerful companies, sit on the sidelines, and have difficulty communicating with colleagues, superiors, acquaintances and strangers.

Shy people often cannot find loyal friends or a soul mate, and experience difficulties in work and other consumer areas. What to do? How to get rid of shyness and self-consciousness for children and adults?

Where does embarrassment come from?

To find a cure for a disease, you need to determine the cause of its occurrence. This is why it is so important to understand where modesty, shyness and timidity come from. There can be many reasons, let’s consider the main factors of shyness:

self-doubt, low self-esteem;
psychological trauma after a negative communication experience;
complexes regarding appearance, height, weight, etc.;
age crisis;
inflated demands on one’s person;
environmental rejection;
chronic fatigue and loss of interest in life;
health problems;
poor performance at school and much more.

It should be noted that modesty is a natural or feigned character trait; in each case, you can change yourself and adjust your behavior in society. Every person feels uncomfortable in unfamiliar circumstances, but over time they loosen up, become more sociable and find a common language with people.

When it is very difficult to cross the threshold of uncertainty and shyness, then this is already a problem that needs to be solved, and the sooner the better. How to help a child overcome shyness and become the “life of the party”?

Developing confidence in communication

It is necessary to learn to overcome embarrassment at an early age, so that the child can build a career correctly in the future, find a common language with the right people, at the same time, he was not afraid to take the first step on the path of the new and unknown.

Top 5 effective advice How to teach a child not to be shy:

Modesty, shyness and indecisiveness are frequent companions on the path of growing up, and therefore it is important from the first years of life not to limit the child’s communication, it is important to introduce him to the adult world as early as possible (walks, kindergarten, going to work to visit parents, etc.).
If a child is shy and unsure of his words and actions, then you need to have an educational conversation with him, discuss the current situation, possible solutions to it, and show by your own example what would be the best thing to do in such a case.
It is imperative to take into account the experiences and emotions in the baby’s soul, do not force him to take certain actions, run towards a stranger, say hello or kiss. We need to figure out why the child is afraid of people, why he shows shyness, and what reasons prompted this behavior.
Children love cartoons and fairy tales most of all, so why not take advantage of this favorite pastime in order to convey the basic tenets: how to teach a child not to be embarrassed by strangers, to feel comfortable in any life situation.
Parents must help the child overcome fear of contact with children on playgrounds, teach the child to get acquainted and make contact with new people, while observing acceptable limits.

We cannot ignore various factors that can lead to shyness and uncertainty in a child, such as hereditary factors, physical disabilities, and pressure from educators and teachers. How to teach a child not to be shy from the first years of life, to become more sociable and get rid of timidity and indecisiveness?

It is necessary to increase the child’s self-esteem, praise him, support him in all his endeavors, then everything will certainly work out and your child will be able to overcome embarrassment and become more confident in life.

Shyness in adulthood - how to re-educate yourself?

If shyness accompanies in adult life, then here it is necessary to consider the previous origins and begin to eliminate the causes of the appearance of such a condition. What to do in this case - how to overcome embarrassment:

in order to stop blushing and being shy when meeting strangers, you need to expand your social circle, take initiative, and figure out why you feel so awkward in a given situation;
if modesty is associated with dissatisfaction with one’s appearance, then you need to correct it, if possible, or reconcile yourself and reconsider your views on this “problem” (tall/short stature, large/small ears, eyes, mouth, etc.), try to find this is the highlight and do not be ashamed of yourself in the reflection of the mirror;
become a professional in your field, stop noticing failures, focus more on positive events, encourage yourself for taking new steps towards getting rid of shyness and uncertainty;
You can overcome embarrassment and awkwardness with humor, fascinating stories, interesting facts, stop sitting on the sidelines and watching what is happening, now you too can surprise the audience;
If during your attempts to communicate a person interrupts speech, does not know how to listen, does not perceive other people’s opinions, then you should not attribute this to your own failure, look for new acquaintances, common interests, and do not transfer all failures to your own account.

To stop being shy and become more sociable, you need to train your confidence, learn to clearly greet acquaintances and strangers, start a casual conversation, when buying something, it is important to be interested in the opinion of the seller, ask questions, and be active. Thus, you can easily remove shyness and embarrassment, become more confident and sociable.

Many girls try to be in the shadow of their more successful and bright friends because of embarrassment and timidity, and men do not dare to take the first step towards the woman they like if his friends have already tried, but nothing worked. Here it is important to believe in yourself and your inner strength, to show individuality, and not get lost behind the screen of more confident people.

In order not to blush from embarrassment, you need to create a favorable atmosphere “both inside and outside”, remove complexes and stereotypes that prevent you from taking the first step towards a long-awaited dream.

Confidence and getting rid of embarrassment is a significant step towards a happy future, a means to achieve a goal, an indicator of a person’s vitality. To stop being shy, you can ask the Lord for strength and support, and sincerely pray with a request to find inner lightness and freedom.

How to become more sociable?

If you don’t remove embarrassment, it will be difficult to show your communication skills. A blushing person feels awkward in an unfamiliar environment, and even in a circle with family and friends may experience discomfort.

Such a problem as shyness must be solved from an early age; it is important to stop being embarrassed, and spend more time on your self-development and knowledge of the world. And for this it is important to adhere to the following postulates, which will help you be less shy and more active:

a healthy body (in good shape) – a healthy mind;
rich vocabulary;
beautiful speech;
correct facial expressions;
eye contact;
respect for the opponent;
positive smile;
ability to listen and hear.

You need to learn to be interesting, overcome embarrassment, be eloquent and witty, surprise and amuse the audience. The main thing is not to overdo it, it is important to become a pleasant and patient interlocutor.

How to start a conversation?

To stop blushing and feeling awkward, you can first start a conversation about nothing, and then talk about more serious topics. The weather can be an excuse, as a transition to something interesting and exciting.

“It’s raining today, so I couldn’t go to the cinema where they showed my favorite film.” And then you can ask which one, why the interlocutor liked it, maybe agree on a subsequent joint trip to watch this film, etc.

If you are surprised by your companion’s jewelry, hairstyle, or clothes, then don’t keep it to yourself, give a compliment, give him a smile, and the conversation will certainly become pleasant and friendly, and the embarrassment “will go away.”

At first, when communicating with a stranger, you should not touch on topics of your personal life; let the person meet you halfway. In the meantime, you can talk about sports, hobbies, pets, music, etc.

To become more sociable and get rid of embarrassment, it is useful to attend various events, go on a visit, invite friends and acquaintances to your home, spend more time outside the home, and in the company of those people with whom you feel cozy and comfortable in any weather.

The connection between sociability and personal relationships

Many people cannot find a partner only because they are very shy, blush and timid when communicating with the opposite sex. And therefore they are not able to taste all the joys of life, create a family, give birth to children, and so on.

That is why it is so important to seriously think about this issue, how to get rid of embarrassment and timidity, how to adapt to society in order to build a successful career, find your other half, and raise your offspring correctly.

Those who have overcome the fear of society will become much happier, so you need to increase self-confidence, eliminate embarrassment, believe in your strength, thank the Lord for every day you live and personal achievements.

If you don’t take your shyness as a cross for life, you can easily cope with it. And for this you need to work on yourself, learn new things, rewarding yourself for positive results.

Affirmations on the way to getting rid of embarrassment

You can overcome embarrassment with affirmations - positive statements in the present tense that will help you become what you want. To stop being shy and become more sociable, you need to say several times a day, looking in the mirror:

I am confident and sociable, ready to make new acquaintances and communicate with people.
I love my appearance (eyes, lips, ears, arms, legs, height, weight...).
I like my voice, I like to communicate and express my views on what is happening.
I accept myself as I am and thank the Lord for my character and temperament.
I got rid of embarrassment and became more sociable. And there was no trace of shyness left.

You can choose one phrase and say it as often as possible in order to get rid of negative formed beliefs. Now you know how to stop being shy about your appearance and overcome obstacles on the path to finding inner freedom and happiness.

Stop blushing and reproaching yourself for your lack of will and determination. Psychology insists that only we ourselves are capable of changing ourselves, the main thing is to remove the signs of pessimism, embarrassment and fear, it is important to curb our inner strength and take a bold step into the future.

Embarrassment is not a vice - but a reminder that we are all individual and ready to change, on the way to the new and unknown!